Adventure is the Best Way to Procrastinate

Hello, blog world. I am still here! Actually, I just started another blog for my artwork, which can be found here: http://angelaisdoodlinginclass.blogspot.com/ although there's not much on it at the moment, but it's a good start.
Anyway, I had a great day so far today! I met with a lady at Hollywood Studios who works in the Ink and Paint department there for the Animation Gallery store. Once upon a time, there was a feature animation studio here at Hollywood Studios, where guests could see films actually being animated. When I came with my family in 2000, they were animating The Emperor's New Groove, and I remember that being one of the highlights I can remember from that trip. Unfortunately, Disney decided that they wanted all their animators in one spot, and closed the studio here. With the advent of new technology, much of 2D animation is becoming a lost art, and one of the first things to go was Ink and Paint. Back in the day, each frame of animation used to be traced onto celluloid (or animators call them cels for short), which are transparent sheets like the ones your fourth grade teacher used on her overhead projector. This was done using a technique called inking, which requires a very steady hand and a good sense of line. After they were inked, the painter would turn them over and paint on the back side to give the animation color. Now this is just for one subject that's moving. For example, if Mickey Mouse was having a nice little chat with Donald Duck on a windy day next to a palm tree, then Mickey, Donald, and the palm tree would all have their own cel. All the cels in the scene would then be stacked over the painted background and photographed. Remember, all of this is for one frame, and there's 24 frames for every second of animation. The woman I spoke with today told me there were millions of cels used in The Little Mermaid--which is incidentally my favorite Disney movie, and also one she happened to work on in the Ink and Paint department.
These days, all of that is done digitally, and there are only two mills in the entire world that still make celluloid (although now they make them a little less combustible than they used to--apparently people used to die!). So they try to keep this dying art alive in the humble little shop in Hollywood Studios by inking and painting cels, and framing them to sell to guests in Disney World. And, they let me paint a little bit of pirate Mickey! It was so fun!
I learned all of that today! Isn't that something? After that, I went over to the Animation drawing class (as usual, I've been there so many times already) and sat through 3 classes learning how to draw Disney characters. I love it!
Then I popped on over to Animal Kingdom, where I found some kangaroos and drew them. Kangaroos are my favorite animal, and are now also my favorite animal to draw. They have the coolest action lines. And they stay still a lot longer than most animals. Not like tigers. You expect the tigers to be all lazy, because when you walk up, they're sleeping. Then all of a sudden they jump up and they pace back and forth, and you can't get a good drawing. One cool thing that happened though, is that one of the tigers suddenly saw all the people gawking at him in the window, and he walked right up to the window, placed one paw on the window and gawked back. I could literally see condensation from his breath on the glass.
On my way back from Animal Kingdom, as the College Program bus was pulling out, I finally saw a wild alligator. It was running away from the bus. Have you ever seen an alligator run? It was pretty comical. Wow, look at my amazing photography skills, especially through a dirty bus window! Ha, just kidding, I found this one on the internet, but this is pretty much what it looked like, except I'm pretty sure its legs were flailing about in its attempt to escape the bus.
Anyway, I have to say that I am the master of procrastination, because I did all of this, knowing full well that I have so much work to do for my online classes, since they end this week, and finals are next week. But really, I have an A and a B so far, and for someone who is pretty much living in Disney World right now, I think that's pretty good.

Faith in the Little Things

Florida has a warm climate as most people know. Therefore, there are a lot of bugs here. Since being here, I've been lucky enough to have my first few encounters with cockroaches.
This morning, however, was the worst encounter yet.
There is nothing quite like the sensation of seeing a two-inch long brown cockroach scurry out from underneath your dresser at 5:30 in the morning. My first instinct, of course, was to scream. So, I started to scream, then remembered my roommates  were still sleeping and so only a strangled, stifled noise came out of my throat. Also I had just woken up and had no voice. I froze. I didn't know what to do. I have this thing about smashing bugs, and the reasons are twofold: first, that I am almost as terrified of dead bugs as I am of living ones, so seeing a dead cockroach smashed into my carpet wouldn't be much of an improvement over seeing a live one.  Second, that when I was a kid I remember smashing ants for fun on the sidewalk, and I remember my Dad teaching me that every living thing is a creation of our Heavenly Father and that for every life you take, you will be accountable. So, as a rule, I don't smash bugs unless they are particularly disgusting, and I definitely never kill spiders, unless it's a black widow. I even try to walk around ants now.
However, a cockroach can carry diseases and is a very unwelcome guest in my apartment. And let's be honest, it is ridiculously disgusting. I turned to look in my closet for a shoe, and when I looked back, it had disappeared. I almost screamed again. I ran into my kitchen and grabbed a potent cleaner. I didn't see it, didn't see it, didn't see it. I put the cleaner down and started looking for my stuff for work. I looked up. There it was again. I turned to grab the cleaner. It disappeared. It looked as if it was slowly moving toward my closet. No way. Not in my shoes! I grabbed a few more things, all the while, keeping an eye on my dresser. I went into the kitchen to drop off my stuff, and when I came back, it was out again. It was moving back toward my door. I ran and grabbed the cleaner. It was gone again. I walked over and turned off my closet light. I walked out of my room and turned around to take one last look inside before I turned off the light. I was trying to decide if it was better to close the door so no more cockroaches would come in, or leave it open so that one would leave. Looking at the bottom of my door now, it wouldn't have really mattered. It could fit underneath, easy. I leaned in to turn off the light, and there it was. I had the cleaner in hand. I stepped forward and doused it. I was too scared to step on it, but I sprayed continuously until it rolled over and stopped moving. Then I sprayed it more and more, quietly yelling, "Die! Die!" Then I stepped on it. Then I sprayed it with hair spray. Then I laid a paper towel over it and stepped on it more and more. There were definitely guts coming out. I grabbed a whole wad of paper towels and scooped up the mess and threw it in the trash.
By the end of the ordeal, I was shaking. I didn't really know why, but I figured it was because I used up so much energy and I hadn't had breakfast yet. But as the day went on, I realized just how traumatized I really was, which sounds silly, but it's true. I started to dread coming home. What if there were more? What if there was a nest under my dresser? I have literally been awake now for 22 1/2 hours straight. I have entered my room cautiously every time, and picked every single article of clothing up off the floor and washed it, whether it was clean or dirty. I washed my bedding. I vacuumed my floor. I sprayed it all down with air freshener.
You know something has really gotten under my skin if I feel the need to pray about it. Never have I said so many prayers about bugs today, that they won't come in my apartment anymore. But I live on the ground floor of a crappy apartment complex in Florida, and last night, one of my roommates left the door open for a while. As one of my friends pointed out today, it's gonna happen.
And I don't know why it gets to me so bad; maybe I'm not over my germophobia like I thought.
But the experience has brought two things to mind. One, obviously, the importance of having a clean room. I had let my room slide for far too long and this is what happens. I never want my room to be messy again.
Two is a little more complicated, and why I'm blogging about it in the first place, so sorry for the long introduction.
As I thought about my prayers asking that there be no more cockroaches in my apartment, I felt a little silly. I thought, well I prayed about it, so the next step is to have faith that Heavenly Father will protect me. But, protect me from cockroaches, really? I mean, honestly, could they really hurt me that bad? And doesn't God have more important things to do than help me with a little pest problem? Wasn't I just blowing it out of proportion? Surely Heavenly Father wouldn't care if I had bugs in my apartment, and serve me right for not cleaning my room, right?
But then, I thought back to a journal entry I made back in August. At the time, there were two people whose personalities I didn't know how to deal with, and I felt as if I had no choice but to be miserable around them because of the way they treated me. And I had tried talking to both of them, but with no success. It was causing me a great deal of stress and anxiety because, obviously, that's what I do when I'm in a situation that I feel is too much for me to handle. But even at the time, it seemed a little silly. Those two people were just being themselves, and I don't think either of them really knew just how much it affected me. I kind of felt as if it was actually my problem and that, again, I was blowing things out of proportion. But that was how I felt, and I couldn't get over the overwhelming anxiety it gave me. As these things were turning in my mind in while driving in my car, I suddenly had the thought to pray about it.
I remember specifically writing down that thought later and the feelings that came with it. I felt as though Heavenly Father were saying to me that even in the little things, He cared. From day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute, my concerns were important to Him because I am one of His daughters. Whether or not my concern sounded silly to other people, or even if it literally was something that shouldn't cause me that much anxiety, even by my own standards, if it mattered to me, it mattered to Him. 
Is it going to stop the world that there may be cockroaches in my apartment still? No. But I do know that because I care, God cares. And there may be some here, but because I have faith that I will be protected, they can't hurt me or my roommates, so what is there to fear? And because if I keep the commandments, all things will work together for my good. I know that I've learned important things and reinforced my faith in God, all because that little disgusting creature decided to invade my apartment.
So, now that it is almost 5:00 a.m., I think I'll go to bed, knowing that everything is going to work out, and the exterminator will come tomorrow.

 

"It is like a grain of mustard seed, which, when it is sown in the earth, is less than all the seeds that be in the earth: But when it is sown, it groweth up, and becometh greater than all herbs, and shooteth out great branches; so that the fowls of the air may lodge under the shadow of it." Mark 4:31-32

Who Are the Mormons?

I've had a lot of questions since I got here in Florida about my religion. I seriously love to talk about it, and definitely welcome any questions from friends who sincerely want to know what I believe. Here is one reference that is pretty cool. There are also answers to frequently asked questions (like about the temple and polygamy and The Book of Mormon) on the website I got this picture from here: http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/mormonism-101

And again, I love to talk about it. Being a member of this Church and knowing that I can live with my wonderful family forever brings me more happiness than I can possibly describe.

Animation baby!

So, as some of you may know or have guessed, a big part of the reason why I'm out here in Florida is to make connections with Disney so that I can live my dream of being an animator. After all, John Lasseter started out at Disneyland as a Jungle Cruise skipper. If you don't know who that is, we can't be friends. I'm just kidding. Actually, I'm going to eventually do a couple of blogs about my Disney heroes, which include John Lasseter, Glen Keane, and of course, Walt Disney himself.
I am definitely missing doing actual animation. I downloaded Maya to my computer, and as I've watched tutorials on Youtube, the videos have basically said that it's really difficult to learn Maya by yourself. Awesome. I'm powering through, though. I'll have myself a bouncing ball in no time. Gotta start small. And work it in between work, my online classes, and going to the parks with my roommates.
But for inspiration, I like to look back at my final project for my intro to animation class. Because I still love Cecilia, and I'm still drawing her in my sketchbook. Also, if I post it here, it's easier for me to find than on my facebook.

Oh man, I love animation.

A Different Kind of Castle

Happy Valentine's Day.
I've hated Valentine's Day for a long time.
If I was honest with myself, the reason is that the thing I've always wanted most in life is to be in love. Even when I was a little girl, I just wanted to be in love. I think that's why Heavenly Father has made me wait so long to find the man I'm going to marry because it's the real test of my faith. It's not hard to keep my standards around other people, it's not hard to pay my tithing, or read my scriptures or anything else. It is hard to keep believing that I'll fall in love with someone who will want to marry me and be with me for eternity. And the longer it takes, the harder it is.
I auditioned to be a face character here at Disney World yesterday. Don't worry, this ties together. I didn't even make it past the first cut. They took us in a room, looked at our faces, and kept two out of fifty girls in our group.
Like, maybe my face isn't just right. But I know I am beautiful and I know that I could really be great as a character. I love kids, and I just really want to be the person at Disney World that makes their whole day. I hate that my face isn't right for it. In a way, it seems unfair to me. Why not just give me the chance, Disney?
I've been thinking about how much ESPN Wide World of Sports is so not my thing, and why did it work out this way? Why couldn't I have auditioned yesterday, and I get a happy ending? Why doesn't anything I do work out that way? Not only am I not a princess, but I also never get the date with the guy I like and I never get the part I want in a play, and it took forEVER to get promoted at Taylor Maid. I've tried to live with these kinds of things and I just get tired of feeling like I'm constantly being kicked down. It makes me afraid to hope anymore.
Today I got deployed from my usual location to a discount Disney resort. I wiped down tables for six hours straight. That's all I did. And the first manager treated me like dirt. He wouldn't even smile at me. Hello, you work at Disney! Be happy for goodness sake! Although the manager I had for the last hour was really awesome and thanked me just for coming to work. Anyway, I went to Magic Kingdom afterward to drop off my costume and had a little time to kill, so my roommate and I walked around Magic Kingdom for a little while.

One of the things that attracted me to Disney is the happy atmosphere. Since getting here, I've learned that not everyone is quite so happy. But I have already had so many good times, and when I have time to feel the Disney Magic, it feels really good.

I had to hurry home today though, because I was going to the Orlando, Florida temple.
At first, I was still pretty stressed about everything, and that's all I could think about.
But as I spent more time inside, I could feel the warmth and the familiarity of the Gospel wash over me.
It was a different kind of happy than how I've ever felt at Disney. I believe that everything good comes from God. That includes Walt Disney's dream of creating a place where families can be happy and enjoy a good time together. But there's a difference between just plain good things and the light of the Gospel.
I think it's like having a crush versus being in love. When you have a crush on someone, you're giddy. It's exciting and it's new, and there's so much to experience.
But when you're in love, as I've observed from people I know who are in love, it's something so much deeper than that. It's the kind of thing that echoes through your soul. It's something that truly lasts.
That's the Gospel. It's so deep and pure. The feeling is indescribable.

And knowing just how much God loves me makes none of that other stuff matter. It doesn't matter that I'm not a princess at Disney World. It doesn't matter that some boy never asked me out. My Heavenly Father is aware of me and how I feel, and He knows what's going to make me the best person I can be. All I have to do is be patient and I'll see what He has in store, and it'll be better than I ever dreamed.

It's really awesome that I get to live by Cinderella's castle until the end of the summer. It's really exciting. But my favorite place to be is a little different kind of castle.

Even the stars burn, some even fall to the earth

Sometimes life isn't always what we hope it's going to be.
I'm a total Disney nerd. I cry in just about every animated Disney movie ever made. I heard the song for the opening credits of Oliver and Company, and I thought of those sweet little kitties on the streets of New York in the rain, and I started crying while I was waiting for my training to begin.
So even though I loved my job, my friends, my ward, my major, my apartment, and that super amazing choir I've been lucky enough to be a part of, I decided to give it all up to come here.
It was a scary decision, and for a while, I doubted the true value of coming here. True, it will look stellar on my resume, but considering the fact that my greatest dream is to be a wife and a mother, I didn't know if it was worth the sacrifice. As long as I'm not married, I've tried to prepare myself for a career. But as I've worked different jobs and thought about different paths, I've always known that I can't live my life doing something that I'm not passionate about. That's why I became so happy when I re-discovered my childhood dream of being an animator. I was so busy last semester, but I can honestly say that it's the happiest I've been since my freshman year at Snow College.
As I came here, I became so excited about the prospect of really believing in Walt Disney's dream for Disney World. He wanted there to be a place where families could be together and have fun together. What a wonderful dream. All I could think about was, "Now when do I get to help make some magic?"
I didn't know anything about my assignment to ESPN's Wide World of Sports. I'd never been there, and it didn't sound particularly interesting to me. I have no interest in sports. I even hate sports movies. But I decided to at least see what it was like out there.
First of all, my first day there was a Sunday, so I was already an emotional wreck, not only because it was the first time in my whole life that I've ever worked on a Sunday, but also because I had to miss church for it as well. I listened to my LDC CD from last year onto my MP3 player, and pretty much cried the entire hour-long bus ride there.
At first, it didn't seem so bad, but as the day progressed, I got more and more upset. This wasn't what I planned. There were no excited little girls in their princess dresses, no moms stopping everyone every five feet for a photo, no kids toting their Buzz Lightyear toys. Our trainer for the day showed us around and told us stories about famous sports heroes who had visited and how the baseball stadium was set up exactly like the Atlanta Braves stadium. He told us about the College Program participant who got chosen to be a bat boy for the Braves and how that made his dream come true. I was like, really? That has got to be the dullest thing I've ever heard. Who cares? It's a bunch of grown men who throw around some stupid ball.
Why didn't I get assigned to one of the parks? I felt like the assignment was random, and for some reason, I drew the short stick. My major is animation, shouldn't I be working at Magic Kingdom? Couldn't I go there and make someone's day? I came to make magic!
I was determined to get a transfer. I went to the office the next day to ask for one.
They don't transfer College Program participants. Your role is your role is your role is your role or you can go home. That's it.
I was heartbroken. I just wanted to come home and forget all of this ever happened. How could they assign me to the one place on the entire property that is the least suited to my personality? I told the man in the office that I wanted to go home, but that I was going to call my parents first, and think about it for a while.
While I was on the phone, the feeling just came to me. I knew I had to stay here. For whatever reason, this is where God wants me. How can I argue with that?
I started thinking about what my mom said about how the unexpected things in life are often the sweetest blessings. And I find in my life that's true. The things I never dreamed of happening are those things I hold dearest to my heart. I'm going to use my friend Landon as an example, since he's on a mission and probably won't ever read this. When he wanted to be my friend, I just wanted him to get away from me. I thought he had to be the weirdest person I ever met. But he was insistent that he wanted to be my friend. As I let myself open up to him, I found a whole other side of myself. And I gained a friend that I will never forget.
So, I don't know why I'm here, and I don't know why I've gotten this assignment, but I know that Heavenly Father knows I'm here. He knows the deepest, dearest wishes of my heart, and He wants me to be happy. And only He knows exactly how I will be the most happy. All I have to do is trust in Him, and all of my dreams will come true, even if they become different dreams in the end.

"Some wishes come true in the most unexpected ways." --Jiminy Cricket

Casting!

Oh my goodness it is so stinkin' late here in Florida. Okay, it's like 11:30. I'm kind of a baby.
Anyway, I just barely finished my online Defensive Driving course for the speeding ticket I got while I was still in Utah. Don't worry, two of my roommates went to DisneyWorld while I sat here reading this stupid thing. It's ok, I can't get into DisneyWorld yet anyway. But still. They were in DisneyWorld, I was reading about how you can get decapitated by running into the back of a semi truck. Awesome.
Well, today was the big day to find out where I'll be working and to fill out all of my paperwork. So everyone got shuttled to this building:

With these doorknobs:

I bet you didn't get to use a doorknob with a face when you filled out your paperwork for your job.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand....The long awaited moment, my job in DisneyWorld until August 10 will be:

Concessions at the Wide World of Sports

Who knew Disney had that, right? I didn't. I thought I'd be working in one of the main theme parks. But you know, I know absolutely nothing about this job at all, so who knows? It may be the best job ever. Plus, I'm still working for Disney, so it's going to be awesome no matter.

And apparently the Atlanta Braves do their Spring Training here. Whatever that means. Apparently they're like a Major League Baseball team or something.

So, I know nothing about sports, but I'm excited, and I can't wait to actually get to work!