My heart hurts to think of home. I know that Aurora and Colorado Springs are far from Durango, but they are so much closer to home than I am. I just want everything to be okay in Colorado again. My heart goes out to both the victims and survivors of the massacre, and also to those who are still dealing with all the fires and the aftermath of that this past summer.
Wherever I go, I will always call Colorado home. Even though I've lived in Utah pretty much since I graduated from high school, whenever someone here asks me where I'm from, I still tell them I'm from Colorado. The mountains, the trees, the streams, and all those wonderful people that I love are still there. Those days of building pirate ships, exploring, campouts, Mom's homemade pizza, riding around in Landon's Jeep, sleeping on the trampoline and watching the countless stars, building sets for plays, riding my horse, watching the trees turn red and gold just before Halloween, and having family scriptures while the cool summer night breeze poured in through the open windows are all part of my foundation, and who I am.
My life in Utah has also been wonderful, albeit a little lonely. But that's just a side effect of being an independent person. I can't wait to return, even though part of me dreads it a little to be honest. It's been kind of nice, actually, here in Florida, the dating scene for members of the church leaves a lot to be desired. I mean, I love my ward (or congregation), but there aren't many people to date. Which I think is mostly because the great majority of Disney College Program Participants (we call ourselves CP's), who are members of the church, are girls. But a break from the Provo scene was exactly what I wanted. I'd just been getting so tired of perfectly eligible guys never asking me or any other girls out. Seriously. If you are a returned missionary in Provo, and you are reading this, and you think I'm attractive, ask me out. Yeah, you. I'm calling you out right now. Ask me when I get back. You never know what might happen. And life is too short to be a weenie.
Aside from the dating scene, however, I am SO READY to come back. All I can think about is choir and getting back into school, and having a job that I enjoy, and being near my family and living with my sister! Up until last fall semester, I had been getting very dissatisfied with my life, and I complained a lot, wishing that I could actually do something more with my life, thinking that nothing I was doing was of any great value. So I had this grand idea that I would leave one way or the other come January, and the Disney College Program seemed like the most sensible option. Then suddenly life was going so well right before I left, and I almost didn't want to go. I know now that I made the right decision for so many reasons, and I'm grateful for the opportunity Heavenly Father gave me to grow. It was no coincidence that I chose to leave when I did, no coincidence who I met or where I worked. I may not know all the reasons still, but I know that there were many purposes for me being here, and some I may never fully understand, and some I feel I'm just beginning to grasp. But I have to go back to where my heart is calling. I see things in a different color now, having been here, working for Disney and meeting the people I've met.
I think the main lesson of the Disney College Program for me is realizing that what you've had all along is what was the real magic.
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| It'll be weird when these faces aren't omnipresent in my life anymore... |
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