So, amid all of my packing and what not, I have misplaced my journal. And I really wanted to write tonight, so you all get to share in the joy of my thoughts now. I know I've already posted two blogs about leaving Florida already, but I haven't left yet...so...there's still more to say.
Tomorrow is my last day of work. I'm excited beyond all reason, but I'm also feeling a little weird. I've really been looking forward to this program getting over, because it hasn't been all that I hoped for. However, I'm also sad at the same time, which is not something that anyone has heard from me yet. At work everyone has asked, "You're going home, are you excited or sad?" They were always responded to with an enthusiastic, "Yes! I'm so excited! I can't wait!" Which is the honest truth.
But it is the end of an era, or the end of a chapter in my life, which is always a bittersweet time. It keeps reminding me of the end of my freshman year at Snow College (and I know, I talk about that a lot, but once I get married, the milestone of going off to college won't be so big anymore, I'm sure haha). I remember being so so so excited to go home and live with my family again and see all of my old high school friends, and I also remember talking to my roommate Angie, who had become my best friend. She said, "How can you be excited, I don't want this to end!" And while I could agree with her that life was awesome then, I felt like I was wasting away without my family, and all I could think about was finally getting back home. Looking back on that time, I know that within a month, I was wishing I was back at Snow again with all of my friends who I had grown very attached to. I still loved being with my family, it's just that I didn't realize how good I had it until I left.
So it is with being here. I mean, there are definitely more downsides to being here than just not seeing my family, as opposed to at Snow, where I think that was really the only downside. But as I think about leaving, I can't help but think about how weird it's going to be. My roommates, Natalie and Kylie, have been constant presences in my life for the past six months, and oh my goodness am I so very grateful for them. I don't know if I've ever laughed so much in my life as when I've been with them, and we've seen and done so much together since we've been here. I feel very blessed when I think that Heavenly Father placed me in this apartment to meet them. They mean more to me than I think I could ever tell them or put into words. I've been trying to focus on the getting to see my family part and not so much on the leaving those two part.
Then, there's my ward too, and the missionaries. I have never really worked with missionaries before, but Elder Mortensen and Elder Hanson have been a huge influence in my life. At the beginning of my program, when I thought the worst had happened, there they were, reminding me that Heavenly Father had prepared a way for me to come here and had specific reasons for doing so. They reminded me that instead of dwelling on what I didn't have here, I should instead focus on sharing the Gospel with those around me. While I don't think I was a very good or effective missionary, I was still grateful for their influence and their lessons, and the Spirit they brought to my apartment. I don't think they know what an impact they had on me, they were just trying to do their job. :)
I think about Heather and Katelyn and how glad I am that they were here too, and what a comfort they were to me, and a reminder of home. We didn't really have to say good bye, since they'll be around in Utah when I get back.
There was Skylar, Work Joe, Church Joe, Taylor the boy, Stephanie, Jamila, Shelly, Michael, Andrew, Sam the Gator Man, Brad, Toffer, Joey, Taylor the girl, Jessica, Evelyn, Justin P, Andres, Gary, Damien, Shannel, Danielle (yes, I do mean Danielle the coordinator), Desiree, Carlos, Martha, Jose, Jordan, Sybil, Daniel, Shelby, Amy, Sister Allen, Sister Staley, and whoever else I may have forgotten. I'm so glad to have met all these people, and whether it was their jokes, their smiles, their hugs, the numerous rides, willingness to talk to me on a slow day at work, or even just their friendship, they all helped me in some way. Some helped me to feel welcome at church and made the transition from a practically all-Mormon community, to a very small percentage of Mormons community much easier. Some helped pass the time at work, and made working worthwhile. Some came with me to the parks and helped me to really savor the experience of living in Disney World I will forever remember them there.
It's weird to think that I may never see some of these people again. I hope I do, though, even if it's just once. I better go to sleep now so I can last all day for my LAST DAY OF WORK tomorrow. *cue the epic music.
No comments:
Post a Comment