Well, I didn't think I was going to get on this morning and write before I set out, but it just felt like the right thing to do when I woke up this morning. But, I'm still gonna make this short.
As I look around my packed up and empty room, I can hardly believe that it's over. There were definitely days when it felt like this program was taking forever and that I would never get to see my family again. But there were also days and times that I wished would last forever. Like last night, with my roommates, Natalie and Kylie. We had a slumber party in the living room for my last night. Is it too much to ask to pack them up too and take them with me?
I literally hated my job here. It was really frustrating to me, throughout my whole program that I had to work in Food and Beverage at the Sports Complex. It was like, out of all the hundreds of jobs I could have had, this was the one that was least like my personality. And along with that, I realized that I don't really like working for large corporations. I'd rather work for a small business where I can feel like my contributions are valuable. That being said, I'm still glad that I came, and I'm even glad that I worked at the Sports Complex. I wouldn't have met the people I did if I hadn't.
I also realized even more so what a great treasure my family is. I've seen a lot of families here and met a lot of people and heard a bit about their families. My family really is unique, and I would do anything to be with them forever. It has also increased my desire for my own family. I just wanna have little girls and dress them up like princesses and the boys like pirates! Oh, it will be so much fun. Someday.
Through all the struggles and the ups and downs, I really am glad that I came here. I'm so glad that Heavenly Father gave me this opportunity to see life a little differently than I've seen it before. It's been an amazing ride.
You're welcome, Mickey. Thanks for letting me help make the magic.
See ya real soon.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Looks Like We Made It, Look How Far We've Come My Baby
So, amid all of my packing and what not, I have misplaced my journal. And I really wanted to write tonight, so you all get to share in the joy of my thoughts now. I know I've already posted two blogs about leaving Florida already, but I haven't left yet...so...there's still more to say.
Tomorrow is my last day of work. I'm excited beyond all reason, but I'm also feeling a little weird. I've really been looking forward to this program getting over, because it hasn't been all that I hoped for. However, I'm also sad at the same time, which is not something that anyone has heard from me yet. At work everyone has asked, "You're going home, are you excited or sad?" They were always responded to with an enthusiastic, "Yes! I'm so excited! I can't wait!" Which is the honest truth.
But it is the end of an era, or the end of a chapter in my life, which is always a bittersweet time. It keeps reminding me of the end of my freshman year at Snow College (and I know, I talk about that a lot, but once I get married, the milestone of going off to college won't be so big anymore, I'm sure haha). I remember being so so so excited to go home and live with my family again and see all of my old high school friends, and I also remember talking to my roommate Angie, who had become my best friend. She said, "How can you be excited, I don't want this to end!" And while I could agree with her that life was awesome then, I felt like I was wasting away without my family, and all I could think about was finally getting back home. Looking back on that time, I know that within a month, I was wishing I was back at Snow again with all of my friends who I had grown very attached to. I still loved being with my family, it's just that I didn't realize how good I had it until I left.
So it is with being here. I mean, there are definitely more downsides to being here than just not seeing my family, as opposed to at Snow, where I think that was really the only downside. But as I think about leaving, I can't help but think about how weird it's going to be. My roommates, Natalie and Kylie, have been constant presences in my life for the past six months, and oh my goodness am I so very grateful for them. I don't know if I've ever laughed so much in my life as when I've been with them, and we've seen and done so much together since we've been here. I feel very blessed when I think that Heavenly Father placed me in this apartment to meet them. They mean more to me than I think I could ever tell them or put into words. I've been trying to focus on the getting to see my family part and not so much on the leaving those two part.
Then, there's my ward too, and the missionaries. I have never really worked with missionaries before, but Elder Mortensen and Elder Hanson have been a huge influence in my life. At the beginning of my program, when I thought the worst had happened, there they were, reminding me that Heavenly Father had prepared a way for me to come here and had specific reasons for doing so. They reminded me that instead of dwelling on what I didn't have here, I should instead focus on sharing the Gospel with those around me. While I don't think I was a very good or effective missionary, I was still grateful for their influence and their lessons, and the Spirit they brought to my apartment. I don't think they know what an impact they had on me, they were just trying to do their job. :)
I think about Heather and Katelyn and how glad I am that they were here too, and what a comfort they were to me, and a reminder of home. We didn't really have to say good bye, since they'll be around in Utah when I get back.
There was Skylar, Work Joe, Church Joe, Taylor the boy, Stephanie, Jamila, Shelly, Michael, Andrew, Sam the Gator Man, Brad, Toffer, Joey, Taylor the girl, Jessica, Evelyn, Justin P, Andres, Gary, Damien, Shannel, Danielle (yes, I do mean Danielle the coordinator), Desiree, Carlos, Martha, Jose, Jordan, Sybil, Daniel, Shelby, Amy, Sister Allen, Sister Staley, and whoever else I may have forgotten. I'm so glad to have met all these people, and whether it was their jokes, their smiles, their hugs, the numerous rides, willingness to talk to me on a slow day at work, or even just their friendship, they all helped me in some way. Some helped me to feel welcome at church and made the transition from a practically all-Mormon community, to a very small percentage of Mormons community much easier. Some helped pass the time at work, and made working worthwhile. Some came with me to the parks and helped me to really savor the experience of living in Disney World I will forever remember them there.
It's weird to think that I may never see some of these people again. I hope I do, though, even if it's just once. I better go to sleep now so I can last all day for my LAST DAY OF WORK tomorrow. *cue the epic music.
Tomorrow is my last day of work. I'm excited beyond all reason, but I'm also feeling a little weird. I've really been looking forward to this program getting over, because it hasn't been all that I hoped for. However, I'm also sad at the same time, which is not something that anyone has heard from me yet. At work everyone has asked, "You're going home, are you excited or sad?" They were always responded to with an enthusiastic, "Yes! I'm so excited! I can't wait!" Which is the honest truth.
But it is the end of an era, or the end of a chapter in my life, which is always a bittersweet time. It keeps reminding me of the end of my freshman year at Snow College (and I know, I talk about that a lot, but once I get married, the milestone of going off to college won't be so big anymore, I'm sure haha). I remember being so so so excited to go home and live with my family again and see all of my old high school friends, and I also remember talking to my roommate Angie, who had become my best friend. She said, "How can you be excited, I don't want this to end!" And while I could agree with her that life was awesome then, I felt like I was wasting away without my family, and all I could think about was finally getting back home. Looking back on that time, I know that within a month, I was wishing I was back at Snow again with all of my friends who I had grown very attached to. I still loved being with my family, it's just that I didn't realize how good I had it until I left.
So it is with being here. I mean, there are definitely more downsides to being here than just not seeing my family, as opposed to at Snow, where I think that was really the only downside. But as I think about leaving, I can't help but think about how weird it's going to be. My roommates, Natalie and Kylie, have been constant presences in my life for the past six months, and oh my goodness am I so very grateful for them. I don't know if I've ever laughed so much in my life as when I've been with them, and we've seen and done so much together since we've been here. I feel very blessed when I think that Heavenly Father placed me in this apartment to meet them. They mean more to me than I think I could ever tell them or put into words. I've been trying to focus on the getting to see my family part and not so much on the leaving those two part.
Then, there's my ward too, and the missionaries. I have never really worked with missionaries before, but Elder Mortensen and Elder Hanson have been a huge influence in my life. At the beginning of my program, when I thought the worst had happened, there they were, reminding me that Heavenly Father had prepared a way for me to come here and had specific reasons for doing so. They reminded me that instead of dwelling on what I didn't have here, I should instead focus on sharing the Gospel with those around me. While I don't think I was a very good or effective missionary, I was still grateful for their influence and their lessons, and the Spirit they brought to my apartment. I don't think they know what an impact they had on me, they were just trying to do their job. :)
I think about Heather and Katelyn and how glad I am that they were here too, and what a comfort they were to me, and a reminder of home. We didn't really have to say good bye, since they'll be around in Utah when I get back.
There was Skylar, Work Joe, Church Joe, Taylor the boy, Stephanie, Jamila, Shelly, Michael, Andrew, Sam the Gator Man, Brad, Toffer, Joey, Taylor the girl, Jessica, Evelyn, Justin P, Andres, Gary, Damien, Shannel, Danielle (yes, I do mean Danielle the coordinator), Desiree, Carlos, Martha, Jose, Jordan, Sybil, Daniel, Shelby, Amy, Sister Allen, Sister Staley, and whoever else I may have forgotten. I'm so glad to have met all these people, and whether it was their jokes, their smiles, their hugs, the numerous rides, willingness to talk to me on a slow day at work, or even just their friendship, they all helped me in some way. Some helped me to feel welcome at church and made the transition from a practically all-Mormon community, to a very small percentage of Mormons community much easier. Some helped pass the time at work, and made working worthwhile. Some came with me to the parks and helped me to really savor the experience of living in Disney World I will forever remember them there.
It's weird to think that I may never see some of these people again. I hope I do, though, even if it's just once. I better go to sleep now so I can last all day for my LAST DAY OF WORK tomorrow. *cue the epic music.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Good Things Are Coming My Way
So, I am leaving one week from today, and I am thrilled. I can't wait to get back and see my family and get back to school and everything. But I made up a list of a lot of the awesome things I got to see and do while I've been here. It's sort of a backwards bucket list, but even if I had made an actual bucket list, I don't think I would have thought of half of these things.
Went to the first-ever One More Disney Day Leap Day celebration at the Magic Kingdom
Got paid to watch fireworks and the Electrical Parade
Got paid to play with a puppet in Frontierland
Worked in Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, Typhoon Lagoon, Blizzard Beach, and the All-Star Resorts
Saw a Braves/Yankees Spring Training game
Became friends with people from all over the country and all over the world
Swam with sharks
Swam in the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic Ocean
Held an alligator
Went to Harry Potter World (!)
Hand-painted part of an old-fashioned animation cel
Saw an alligator in the wild
Battled a cockroach in an epic duel to the death. I won. Make that two epic duels.
Watched the perimeter fireworks at Magic Kingdom on the 4th of July
Went with the sister missionaries when they taught a lesson
Went inside the Orlando, Florida temple
Auditioned both singing and dancing for Disney casting (didn't make it, but auditioned nonetheless)
Had my first Steak and Shake
Went to Star Wars Weekends
Was a model in a Disney photoshoot
Saw Wishes from a balcony in Disney's Contemporary Hotel, and from the beach at the Polynesian
See, I would have never done any of this if I had stayed all this time in Provo. It's been a hard six months, and I really really can't wait to get home, but I couldn't be more glad that I came, and met the people I met and did the things I did.
I came out here to experience new things, and that is exactly what I did. And I'm ready to go back and take on my life again, and take all of my disappointments and joys from this program with me. I feel as if I can look forward with more hope than ever, because even when things don't turn out the way you want or expect, life is still wonderful.
That's it, just one week to go!
Went to the first-ever One More Disney Day Leap Day celebration at the Magic Kingdom
Got paid to watch fireworks and the Electrical Parade
Got paid to play with a puppet in Frontierland
Worked in Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, Typhoon Lagoon, Blizzard Beach, and the All-Star Resorts
Saw a Braves/Yankees Spring Training game
Became friends with people from all over the country and all over the world
Swam with sharks
Swam in the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic Ocean
Held an alligator
Went to Harry Potter World (!)
Hand-painted part of an old-fashioned animation cel
Saw an alligator in the wild
Battled a cockroach in an epic duel to the death. I won. Make that two epic duels.
Watched the perimeter fireworks at Magic Kingdom on the 4th of July
Went with the sister missionaries when they taught a lesson
Went inside the Orlando, Florida temple
Auditioned both singing and dancing for Disney casting (didn't make it, but auditioned nonetheless)
Had my first Steak and Shake
Went to Star Wars Weekends
Was a model in a Disney photoshoot
Saw Wishes from a balcony in Disney's Contemporary Hotel, and from the beach at the Polynesian
See, I would have never done any of this if I had stayed all this time in Provo. It's been a hard six months, and I really really can't wait to get home, but I couldn't be more glad that I came, and met the people I met and did the things I did.
That's it, just one week to go!
Sunday, July 22, 2012
The Real Magic
We've been talking about what we're most excited to return to when we finally go home. Families, clean kitchens, no cockroaches, better weather, and a normal schedule are among some of the main things we look forward to. Six months is a long time to live in Vista Way. Yes, that is literally my apartment complex.
Don't get me wrong, I am going to miss the heck out of my friends here--even though quite of few of them are moving back to Utah, and I'll actually get to see them. I've already cried to myself thinking of parting with my roommates, Kylie and Natalie, though. I would never have survived this program without them.
My heart hurts to think of home. I know that Aurora and Colorado Springs are far from Durango, but they are so much closer to home than I am. I just want everything to be okay in Colorado again. My heart goes out to both the victims and survivors of the massacre, and also to those who are still dealing with all the fires and the aftermath of that this past summer.
Wherever I go, I will always call Colorado home. Even though I've lived in Utah pretty much since I graduated from high school, whenever someone here asks me where I'm from, I still tell them I'm from Colorado. The mountains, the trees, the streams, and all those wonderful people that I love are still there. Those days of building pirate ships, exploring, campouts, Mom's homemade pizza, riding around in Landon's Jeep, sleeping on the trampoline and watching the countless stars, building sets for plays, riding my horse, watching the trees turn red and gold just before Halloween, and having family scriptures while the cool summer night breeze poured in through the open windows are all part of my foundation, and who I am.
My life in Utah has also been wonderful, albeit a little lonely. But that's just a side effect of being an independent person. I can't wait to return, even though part of me dreads it a little to be honest. It's been kind of nice, actually, here in Florida, the dating scene for members of the church leaves a lot to be desired. I mean, I love my ward (or congregation), but there aren't many people to date. Which I think is mostly because the great majority of Disney College Program Participants (we call ourselves CP's), who are members of the church, are girls. But a break from the Provo scene was exactly what I wanted. I'd just been getting so tired of perfectly eligible guys never asking me or any other girls out. Seriously. If you are a returned missionary in Provo, and you are reading this, and you think I'm attractive, ask me out. Yeah, you. I'm calling you out right now. Ask me when I get back. You never know what might happen. And life is too short to be a weenie.
Aside from the dating scene, however, I am SO READY to come back. All I can think about is choir and getting back into school, and having a job that I enjoy, and being near my family and living with my sister! Up until last fall semester, I had been getting very dissatisfied with my life, and I complained a lot, wishing that I could actually do something more with my life, thinking that nothing I was doing was of any great value. So I had this grand idea that I would leave one way or the other come January, and the Disney College Program seemed like the most sensible option. Then suddenly life was going so well right before I left, and I almost didn't want to go. I know now that I made the right decision for so many reasons, and I'm grateful for the opportunity Heavenly Father gave me to grow. It was no coincidence that I chose to leave when I did, no coincidence who I met or where I worked. I may not know all the reasons still, but I know that there were many purposes for me being here, and some I may never fully understand, and some I feel I'm just beginning to grasp. But I have to go back to where my heart is calling. I see things in a different color now, having been here, working for Disney and meeting the people I've met.
I think the main lesson of the Disney College Program for me is realizing that what you've had all along is what was the real magic.
My heart hurts to think of home. I know that Aurora and Colorado Springs are far from Durango, but they are so much closer to home than I am. I just want everything to be okay in Colorado again. My heart goes out to both the victims and survivors of the massacre, and also to those who are still dealing with all the fires and the aftermath of that this past summer.
Wherever I go, I will always call Colorado home. Even though I've lived in Utah pretty much since I graduated from high school, whenever someone here asks me where I'm from, I still tell them I'm from Colorado. The mountains, the trees, the streams, and all those wonderful people that I love are still there. Those days of building pirate ships, exploring, campouts, Mom's homemade pizza, riding around in Landon's Jeep, sleeping on the trampoline and watching the countless stars, building sets for plays, riding my horse, watching the trees turn red and gold just before Halloween, and having family scriptures while the cool summer night breeze poured in through the open windows are all part of my foundation, and who I am.
My life in Utah has also been wonderful, albeit a little lonely. But that's just a side effect of being an independent person. I can't wait to return, even though part of me dreads it a little to be honest. It's been kind of nice, actually, here in Florida, the dating scene for members of the church leaves a lot to be desired. I mean, I love my ward (or congregation), but there aren't many people to date. Which I think is mostly because the great majority of Disney College Program Participants (we call ourselves CP's), who are members of the church, are girls. But a break from the Provo scene was exactly what I wanted. I'd just been getting so tired of perfectly eligible guys never asking me or any other girls out. Seriously. If you are a returned missionary in Provo, and you are reading this, and you think I'm attractive, ask me out. Yeah, you. I'm calling you out right now. Ask me when I get back. You never know what might happen. And life is too short to be a weenie.
Aside from the dating scene, however, I am SO READY to come back. All I can think about is choir and getting back into school, and having a job that I enjoy, and being near my family and living with my sister! Up until last fall semester, I had been getting very dissatisfied with my life, and I complained a lot, wishing that I could actually do something more with my life, thinking that nothing I was doing was of any great value. So I had this grand idea that I would leave one way or the other come January, and the Disney College Program seemed like the most sensible option. Then suddenly life was going so well right before I left, and I almost didn't want to go. I know now that I made the right decision for so many reasons, and I'm grateful for the opportunity Heavenly Father gave me to grow. It was no coincidence that I chose to leave when I did, no coincidence who I met or where I worked. I may not know all the reasons still, but I know that there were many purposes for me being here, and some I may never fully understand, and some I feel I'm just beginning to grasp. But I have to go back to where my heart is calling. I see things in a different color now, having been here, working for Disney and meeting the people I've met.
I think the main lesson of the Disney College Program for me is realizing that what you've had all along is what was the real magic.
 |
| It'll be weird when these faces aren't omnipresent in my life anymore... |
Thursday, June 14, 2012
See, I'm All About Them Words
I had an incident on Sunday night. Now that it feels behind me, I think I have something to say about it.
I remember my parents teaching us when we were young to never swear or use vulgar language. When you're a kid, things are just really black and white, and your parents are there to point out which is which. So some words were bad, and that's all there was to it.
As I got older, some of the kids at school started swearing. Well, let's be honest, a lot of them swore when we were in elementary school too, but that was really more for effect. In middle school, kids started using it as part of their daily language. So a lot of us "Mormon kids" started asking those that we were friends with to not use those words around us, because we didn't want to have to hear it, since we were choosing not to use them. A lot of my friends respected that. Some of them didn't, and in fact would instead say as many bad words as they knew all in a row as fast as they could to see if they could get through their list before you could cover your ears. But you can only expect so much from fourteen-year-olds. And they weren't calling me those words, just saying them.
When I moved to Utah, it was like heaven. There were very few swear words to be found, and in general everyone's language was much cleaner and more respectful. Say what you want about Utah and "Utah Mormons" but most of them don't swear, or they don't swear very much.
Naturally, coming to Florida has been kind of a culture shock. On Sunday, someone, who was very upset at the time, called me just about every name that I know, all in different and varying combinations.
Now, I've always been the kind of person who's like "well I'm rubber, you're glue blah blah blah," and how silly is it to let someone's words hurt you?
But it did hurt. I cried all night and into the next day, so that when I showed up to work at 2 pm, I was still in tears and had to get sent home. No one has EVER treated me that way, not even when we were really immature in middle school. And yes, I had been stupid to provoke this person, but I certainly didn't deserve to get treated like that.
And as I heard some of those same names being used on a TV show, I thought...how sad. How sad that calling someone something like that could be funny.
Words really do mean a lot. Why was it so important to our Founding Fathers to have free speech? The words we speak and write can evoke emotions stronger and more quickly than anything else because they are so direct, and they communicate something specific. They can uplift and inspire, or create a beautiful image in our minds. They can also demean, belittle, and cause our minds to wander down paths that they shouldn't go. They can start wars and end wars, build relationships, or tear them apart. It's been said that "The pen is mightier than the sword."
That's why I'm going to do two things. One is that I am going to pursue my dream of becoming a writer, because words can influence nations, and if I can add a positive voice to the deluge of negativity that is flowing in the world today, then I'll have done something worthwhile with my life.
Number two, and anyone who reads this blog can hold me to this goal, I'm going to start speaking more positively. I don't swear, but I can be very negative at times, and I don't think speaking negative words really accomplish anything but brings everyone else down. I have never seen a negative word spoken cause any kind of progress. And I have been speaking negatively A LOT since I've been here in Florida. So if you hear me complaining, or my facebook status is negative, call me out. Say, hey, weren't you going to be more positive?
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Green is For the Trees -- Another forgotten blog post from April
Envy. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. For one, it's definitely one of my greatest weaknesses. I see other people's happiness and talents and I just get so mad that I didn't get those things. I always think, if only I could just have that one thing that they have, then I would be happy.
Last weekend was also General Conference, which of course, always sends me in frenzies of new thoughts on how to improve myself. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, first counselor in the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, gave a fantastic talk on not judging others. In my notes, I wrote NO ENVY, just like that in capital letters. And to top it all off, in my Ethics and Values class that I'm taking online, in an excerpt from "Virtuous Activity," Aristotle says, "But not every action nor every passion admits of a mean [or good]; for some have names that already imply badness, e.g., spite, shamelessness, envy..."
In a way, I usually feel I can justify my envy because I want good things. Like, why can't I be a good missionary like So-and-So, or why can't I be more charitable like What's-Her-Name? But envy is always wrong, even if I envy someone's ability to be charitable, because when I envy someone, not only do I feel inferior, but then I try to justify myself by thinking of all their bad qualities that should most assuredly cancel out whatever it is that I envy. Then, I feel bad about myself already, and then I'm also mentally tearing others down and purposefully not treating them as Christ would have me treat them.
Tonight, as the pangs of envy began to creep into my mind about some of my incredibly awesome friends and their outstanding propensity for missionary work, a thought came to me. That's just not my gift. I mean, it's certainly something I can try to develop, and that I should develop, but perhaps in a different way. I thought about different people in my life and their effect on me, and the experiences I've gone through. Everything has led me here to this point in my life, and I'm definitely not a perfect person, but I believe I can say with certainty that I am a better person than I was last April.
One of my all-time favorite quotes is by Elder Neal A. Maxwell, who was an apostle. He says, "The same God that placed that star in a precise orbit millenia before it appeared over Bethlehem in celebration of the birth of the Babe has given at least equal attention to each of us in precise human orbits, so that we may, if we will, illuminate the landscape of our individual lives, so that our light may not only lead others, but warm them as well."
So what I am very clumsily getting at here is the idea that we are all given unique talents and gifts, and we are all placed in specific "human orbits" that allow us not only to grow, but to help others grow as well. There is absolutely no reason to ever be envious. I'm the person that I am because my Heavenly Father knows me and my heart, and He gave me specific talents, desires, and weaknesses tailored to my own personal earthly experience and quest for eternal life. How incredibly wonderful is that?
Now, I'm not trying to excuse myself for not being a good missionary, but I realize that sometimes the way some people are able to do missionary work is not the same way that I am able to contribute. I am not nearly bold enough to walk up to someone and give them a pass-along card. But I do know that when I truly care about someone, that love runs deep and there is rooted in me a desire to help them know how much God loves them as well. I may never be bold enough to say anything to their face, but I've spent many nights on my knees, in tears, praying that they will know, and praying that I will know how to show them.
A blog is a good way for me to communicate how I really feel. I always think in my head like I'm writing something. A phrase comes to me over and over again, and I go back and edit and revise until the thought is exactly what I'm thinking. I'm always stumbling over words when I speak. And I think, at least I hope, that writing is one of those specific talents that Heavenly Father has given me.
So, here's to developing new talents, and having gratitude for the ones I already have.There's no reason to envy what someone else has when my cup runneth over. My life is beautiful and wonderful, and there are still so many promised blessings that I will receive when the time is right.
I know that God is there. I just know it, in my heart, and the feeling is overwhelming.
Last weekend was also General Conference, which of course, always sends me in frenzies of new thoughts on how to improve myself. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, first counselor in the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, gave a fantastic talk on not judging others. In my notes, I wrote NO ENVY, just like that in capital letters. And to top it all off, in my Ethics and Values class that I'm taking online, in an excerpt from "Virtuous Activity," Aristotle says, "But not every action nor every passion admits of a mean [or good]; for some have names that already imply badness, e.g., spite, shamelessness, envy..."
In a way, I usually feel I can justify my envy because I want good things. Like, why can't I be a good missionary like So-and-So, or why can't I be more charitable like What's-Her-Name? But envy is always wrong, even if I envy someone's ability to be charitable, because when I envy someone, not only do I feel inferior, but then I try to justify myself by thinking of all their bad qualities that should most assuredly cancel out whatever it is that I envy. Then, I feel bad about myself already, and then I'm also mentally tearing others down and purposefully not treating them as Christ would have me treat them.
Tonight, as the pangs of envy began to creep into my mind about some of my incredibly awesome friends and their outstanding propensity for missionary work, a thought came to me. That's just not my gift. I mean, it's certainly something I can try to develop, and that I should develop, but perhaps in a different way. I thought about different people in my life and their effect on me, and the experiences I've gone through. Everything has led me here to this point in my life, and I'm definitely not a perfect person, but I believe I can say with certainty that I am a better person than I was last April.
One of my all-time favorite quotes is by Elder Neal A. Maxwell, who was an apostle. He says, "The same God that placed that star in a precise orbit millenia before it appeared over Bethlehem in celebration of the birth of the Babe has given at least equal attention to each of us in precise human orbits, so that we may, if we will, illuminate the landscape of our individual lives, so that our light may not only lead others, but warm them as well."
So what I am very clumsily getting at here is the idea that we are all given unique talents and gifts, and we are all placed in specific "human orbits" that allow us not only to grow, but to help others grow as well. There is absolutely no reason to ever be envious. I'm the person that I am because my Heavenly Father knows me and my heart, and He gave me specific talents, desires, and weaknesses tailored to my own personal earthly experience and quest for eternal life. How incredibly wonderful is that?
Now, I'm not trying to excuse myself for not being a good missionary, but I realize that sometimes the way some people are able to do missionary work is not the same way that I am able to contribute. I am not nearly bold enough to walk up to someone and give them a pass-along card. But I do know that when I truly care about someone, that love runs deep and there is rooted in me a desire to help them know how much God loves them as well. I may never be bold enough to say anything to their face, but I've spent many nights on my knees, in tears, praying that they will know, and praying that I will know how to show them.
A blog is a good way for me to communicate how I really feel. I always think in my head like I'm writing something. A phrase comes to me over and over again, and I go back and edit and revise until the thought is exactly what I'm thinking. I'm always stumbling over words when I speak. And I think, at least I hope, that writing is one of those specific talents that Heavenly Father has given me.
So, here's to developing new talents, and having gratitude for the ones I already have.There's no reason to envy what someone else has when my cup runneth over. My life is beautiful and wonderful, and there are still so many promised blessings that I will receive when the time is right.
I know that God is there. I just know it, in my heart, and the feeling is overwhelming.
How are you? -- A blog post I forgot about from March :)
So, I have this friend, who may or may not read this blog, I don't know, but I remember in high school when people would ask him how he was doing, he would always say, "ok." And he'd say the reasoning why he didn't say "good" all the time is because if he was "good" all the time then it wouldn't really be good, it would just be normal. Thus, he was "ok." Well, I can tell you right now, people keep asking me how I'm doing out here in Florida, and I can tell you that things are FANTASTIC.
Ok, maybe that was a little overenthusiastic, but let's be real. I'm living in Disney World.
Here are a few reasons why my life is awesome right now:
1. Florida is beautiful. If you've ever been to Disneyland, you know that it is surrounded on all sides by city--a bunch of little businesses cropped up after it was built to take advantage of all the tourists. Well, Walt Disney hated that. He wished he had more room to build. So he decided to start the "Florida Project." He bought an immense amount of land out here in central Florida so that no one could box him in. Therefore, Disney World is surrounded by forest. It really is the most fantastic forest too, because you've got your regular conifer trees, but you've also got palm trees and those little plants that look tropical...I can't remember what they're called. And sometimes, when it's early in the morning it's wrapped in mist. It's so great. I always imagine myself with a machete, wearing khaki shorts and hiking boots, cutting my way through the forest, wrestling alligators and stuff just like Indiana Jones. Although, I am a chicken when it comes to alligators because when my friend and I were walking from Magic Kingdom to the church in the dark, I kept hearing rustling in the bushes nearby and nearly jumped out of my skin. He traded me spots so he could walk closer to the forest. What a gentleman!
2. I work out with the Atlanta Braves. Since I work in the sports complex, I get free admission to the gym they have there for the athletes. Now, I don't really care about sports. But baseball players, well, they're pretty easy on the eyes. I don't actually like to talk to anyone while I'm working out, because if I don't just stay inside my head, then I realize how much I look like an idiot and I won't work out. So I try to keep to myself. But these guys keep talking to me, and they all have huge muscles, and it's pretty awesome.
3. Free Admission to Disney World. Enough said.
4. My roommates are awesome. I'm always a little nervous about getting new roommates, but these ones are pretty dang sweet. We've already had so much fun together. I went with two of my roommates, Natalie and Kylie, to One More Disney Day, when Magic Kingdom was open from 6am on Wednesday until 6am on Thursday, over Leap Day. It was so much fun!
5. All the new friends I'm making. I'm really liking all the people I've met. I'm really excited to get to know a lot of these people over the next few months.
6....Ok, maybe that's all I got for now, but obviously I'm pretty excited about the other things. I'm still trying to work out the not-working-on-Sunday thing, and Food and Beverage still isn't my favorite, but I'm thinking all the good is outweighing the bad. And I'll figure out Sundays. It's gonna happen.
I just can't help but feel that I made the right choice coming here. A lot of people didn't find out I was coming here until right before I left, and that's because I still didn't feel absolutely certain that I should go, and I wondered if maybe I shouldn't go. But right before I left, I got a really good feeling about it. And I keep getting that feeling. I just feel really peaceful about this decision, like this is what I was supposed to do all along. And I'm happy. Even though it's not what I expected or even really what I wanted, I can't help but still be grateful for everything.
Ok, maybe that was a little overenthusiastic, but let's be real. I'm living in Disney World.
Here are a few reasons why my life is awesome right now:
1. Florida is beautiful. If you've ever been to Disneyland, you know that it is surrounded on all sides by city--a bunch of little businesses cropped up after it was built to take advantage of all the tourists. Well, Walt Disney hated that. He wished he had more room to build. So he decided to start the "Florida Project." He bought an immense amount of land out here in central Florida so that no one could box him in. Therefore, Disney World is surrounded by forest. It really is the most fantastic forest too, because you've got your regular conifer trees, but you've also got palm trees and those little plants that look tropical...I can't remember what they're called. And sometimes, when it's early in the morning it's wrapped in mist. It's so great. I always imagine myself with a machete, wearing khaki shorts and hiking boots, cutting my way through the forest, wrestling alligators and stuff just like Indiana Jones. Although, I am a chicken when it comes to alligators because when my friend and I were walking from Magic Kingdom to the church in the dark, I kept hearing rustling in the bushes nearby and nearly jumped out of my skin. He traded me spots so he could walk closer to the forest. What a gentleman!
2. I work out with the Atlanta Braves. Since I work in the sports complex, I get free admission to the gym they have there for the athletes. Now, I don't really care about sports. But baseball players, well, they're pretty easy on the eyes. I don't actually like to talk to anyone while I'm working out, because if I don't just stay inside my head, then I realize how much I look like an idiot and I won't work out. So I try to keep to myself. But these guys keep talking to me, and they all have huge muscles, and it's pretty awesome.
3. Free Admission to Disney World. Enough said.
4. My roommates are awesome. I'm always a little nervous about getting new roommates, but these ones are pretty dang sweet. We've already had so much fun together. I went with two of my roommates, Natalie and Kylie, to One More Disney Day, when Magic Kingdom was open from 6am on Wednesday until 6am on Thursday, over Leap Day. It was so much fun!
5. All the new friends I'm making. I'm really liking all the people I've met. I'm really excited to get to know a lot of these people over the next few months.
6....Ok, maybe that's all I got for now, but obviously I'm pretty excited about the other things. I'm still trying to work out the not-working-on-Sunday thing, and Food and Beverage still isn't my favorite, but I'm thinking all the good is outweighing the bad. And I'll figure out Sundays. It's gonna happen.
I just can't help but feel that I made the right choice coming here. A lot of people didn't find out I was coming here until right before I left, and that's because I still didn't feel absolutely certain that I should go, and I wondered if maybe I shouldn't go. But right before I left, I got a really good feeling about it. And I keep getting that feeling. I just feel really peaceful about this decision, like this is what I was supposed to do all along. And I'm happy. Even though it's not what I expected or even really what I wanted, I can't help but still be grateful for everything.
Love Led Us Here
Love led us here
Right back to where we belong
We followed a star and here we are
Now Heaven seems so near
Love led us here
Is it bad that this song from Muppet Treasure Island suddenly got stuck in my head while I was talking to the missionaries? I don't think so.
Oh so many thoughts I don't know where to begin. I think that media can be used to spread good messages, as well as the bad, and I think that sometimes, unintentionally, Disney movies can teach the Gospel. I think I wrote in a previous post that I believe that anything that is truly good comes from God.
The reason why this song got stuck in my head is because we were talking about the Atonement, or Christ's sacrifice for everyone who ever lived, or is living, or will live.
It got me to thinking about God's love for everyone. It also got me to thinking about my own life and where it's going and where it's been. I had no idea that one day I would move out to Florida and work at Disney World. In fact, I thought I would be lucky to even come visit Disney World ever again when my parents took me back when I was 11.
I had no idea I would go to Snow College, or go to UVU or be in LDC or work at Taylor Maid, or be 23 with absolutely no prospects for marriage. My life, since graduating from high school, has not been anything like what I thought it would be.
Honestly, I planned to go to BYU, meet my husband before I graduated, and hopefully start popping out some babies by the time I was 23. Sounded like a breeze of a plan to me. I never even thought that going on a mission was ever going to be a consideration of mine because I was convinced that I would get married before I turned 21, or that I would at least be engaged.
But that is NOT what happened. And even though I really want to get married, I'm really glad that things have worked out the way they have.
At Snow College, I learned how to have friends, and how to be a friend, as sad as that may sound considering I was 18 years old. Whenever I think of that time, I can hardly remember what I studied, but what I do remember are the incredible friends that I made. Friends who helped build me up and strengthen my faith. And even though I don't talk to some of them anymore, and maybe some of them have wandered down other paths now, what they did for me in that moment in time changed me for good. It inspired me to want to be that kind of friend.
At Taylor Maid, I learned how to be a good worker. Everyone there knows that if Rick, the owner, walks by and sees you just standing there, you are going to get it. He's not paying you to stand around, you see. If there aren't any customers, you sure as heck better be doing something else that's going to improve the store. I learned how to take pride in my work, and how to work with others who have huge personality differences. I also had to learn about myself and how others perceive me when I got promoted, so I learned to speak with more kindness. And I never knew that being obsessed with Harry Potter could help get me a job! I'm hoping that I can return to learn more lessons there when I get back to Utah.
In the Latter-day Celebration Choir, I think I may have learned the most. I learned to have faith in myself and my own abilities. I learned how working together to blend created the most beautiful effect. I learned the sweet joy of sharing the Gospel using one of my talents. Day by day, I was able to hear the Gospel in a way that had the most impact on me (besides the way my parents taught me), through music. Again, this is one of those journeys that isn't quite over yet.
At UVU, I learned to have a passion for what I'm studying. Before, school could be fun, or interesting. But once I started seeing my drawings come to life, I felt a fire like never before. Never before had I ever spent 10 straight hours working on a project for school. I had always reached the point of "that's good enough." That wasn't going to cut it for my animation class. The way my teacher taught the class, you could tell that it was something he really believed in. It made me believe in it too, as an art form. I have every desire to complete my Bachelor's degree there at UVU in animation.
And now, I'm here in Florida, doing the Disney College Program. I know there are still lessons I'm learning, like how to be more humble for example. I've learned to be grateful for what I had in Provo. I know that one lesson I've learned is how very much I love my family, and how much it hurts to be so far away from them for so long. I know in the eternal scheme of things, six months isn't that long. And I know that anyone who has served a mission is now calling me a baby because not only can I call, text, skype, and facebook them, but my parents even came for a visit. But I know that no matter where I go in life, I want to make the right decisions so that this kind of separation isn't permanent. I want to be with them for eternity.
I am so glad that I came to Florida, though. I have made some awesome friends, who are the real reason why I don't just cut my program short and come straight home.
If you made it through this post, I applaud you. All of my posts seem to be really long, so that's why I don't feel bad for not posting often. Also why I add so many pictures. But, I just thought that all of these decisions I made in my life, every opportunity that's come my way, I know God has placed in my life because I've been striving to make the right decisions. And I just have to have the faith that God will continue to guide me as long as I do what He asks. There were so many factors that had to fall into place for me to come out here to Florida, and I kept saying to myself, I feel like I should do this, but if it doesn't work out, then maybe it just wasn't the right thing. But because it did work out, and it was something I wanted to do, I knew it was something I should do. Heavenly Father prepared a way for it to happen.
So I'm exactly where I am right now because Love led me here.
We followed a star and here we are
Now Heaven seems so near
Love led us here
Is it bad that this song from Muppet Treasure Island suddenly got stuck in my head while I was talking to the missionaries? I don't think so.
Oh so many thoughts I don't know where to begin. I think that media can be used to spread good messages, as well as the bad, and I think that sometimes, unintentionally, Disney movies can teach the Gospel. I think I wrote in a previous post that I believe that anything that is truly good comes from God.
The reason why this song got stuck in my head is because we were talking about the Atonement, or Christ's sacrifice for everyone who ever lived, or is living, or will live.
It got me to thinking about God's love for everyone. It also got me to thinking about my own life and where it's going and where it's been. I had no idea that one day I would move out to Florida and work at Disney World. In fact, I thought I would be lucky to even come visit Disney World ever again when my parents took me back when I was 11.
I had no idea I would go to Snow College, or go to UVU or be in LDC or work at Taylor Maid, or be 23 with absolutely no prospects for marriage. My life, since graduating from high school, has not been anything like what I thought it would be.
 |
| Sorry, Angie, I couldn't resist |
But that is NOT what happened. And even though I really want to get married, I'm really glad that things have worked out the way they have.
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| San Diego 2008 |
 |
At Taylor Maid, I learned how to be a good worker. Everyone there knows that if Rick, the owner, walks by and sees you just standing there, you are going to get it. He's not paying you to stand around, you see. If there aren't any customers, you sure as heck better be doing something else that's going to improve the store. I learned how to take pride in my work, and how to work with others who have huge personality differences. I also had to learn about myself and how others perceive me when I got promoted, so I learned to speak with more kindness. And I never knew that being obsessed with Harry Potter could help get me a job! I'm hoping that I can return to learn more lessons there when I get back to Utah.
In the Latter-day Celebration Choir, I think I may have learned the most. I learned to have faith in myself and my own abilities. I learned how working together to blend created the most beautiful effect. I learned the sweet joy of sharing the Gospel using one of my talents. Day by day, I was able to hear the Gospel in a way that had the most impact on me (besides the way my parents taught me), through music. Again, this is one of those journeys that isn't quite over yet.
 |
| O Love Divine |
At UVU, I learned to have a passion for what I'm studying. Before, school could be fun, or interesting. But once I started seeing my drawings come to life, I felt a fire like never before. Never before had I ever spent 10 straight hours working on a project for school. I had always reached the point of "that's good enough." That wasn't going to cut it for my animation class. The way my teacher taught the class, you could tell that it was something he really believed in. It made me believe in it too, as an art form. I have every desire to complete my Bachelor's degree there at UVU in animation.And now, I'm here in Florida, doing the Disney College Program. I know there are still lessons I'm learning, like how to be more humble for example. I've learned to be grateful for what I had in Provo. I know that one lesson I've learned is how very much I love my family, and how much it hurts to be so far away from them for so long. I know in the eternal scheme of things, six months isn't that long. And I know that anyone who has served a mission is now calling me a baby because not only can I call, text, skype, and facebook them, but my parents even came for a visit. But I know that no matter where I go in life, I want to make the right decisions so that this kind of separation isn't permanent. I want to be with them for eternity.
 |
| wouldn't you wanna be with these lovely chomps too? |
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I am so glad that I came to Florida, though. I have made some awesome friends, who are the real reason why I don't just cut my program short and come straight home.If you made it through this post, I applaud you. All of my posts seem to be really long, so that's why I don't feel bad for not posting often. Also why I add so many pictures. But, I just thought that all of these decisions I made in my life, every opportunity that's come my way, I know God has placed in my life because I've been striving to make the right decisions. And I just have to have the faith that God will continue to guide me as long as I do what He asks. There were so many factors that had to fall into place for me to come out here to Florida, and I kept saying to myself, I feel like I should do this, but if it doesn't work out, then maybe it just wasn't the right thing. But because it did work out, and it was something I wanted to do, I knew it was something I should do. Heavenly Father prepared a way for it to happen.
So I'm exactly where I am right now because Love led me here.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
The Stripling Warriors
Ok, so maybe this post doesn't have that much to do with being in Florida. More on that later! But my cousin just posted this picture on his facebook, since he's leaving to be a missionary for my church this week, and it is fantastic. I just finished reading about the Stripling Warriors in the Book of Mormon. This is one of my all-time favorite stories from the scriptures. In case you're not familiar with it, it's a story about 2060 brave young warriors. Most of the Book of Mormon tells the story of the descendants of a family that came over to the Americas in 600 B.C. Two of the sons were named Nephi and Laman. Nephi was a righteous man, and Laman was his older brother who didn't make the best decisions. Their descendents were called Nephites and Lamanites, respectively. So much, much later on, there was a man named Ammon who went to the Lamanites, on a mission, much like the one my cousin is about embark on, and converted a whole city of Lamanites. Because these Lamanites wanted to never again offend God, they took an oath that they would never shed blood again. Then the other Lamanites and some wicked Nephites began to attack them. These wonderfully righteous and penitent people would have rather allowed themselves to be massacred than to break their covenant with God. But what about their children? The Nephites were trying to protect them, but they needed more help. So two thousand of their sons volunteered to go to war for them. Alma 56:47 says: "Now they had never fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yeah, they had been taught by their mothers that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them." I love that. I love their faith, and I love that they had been taught by their mothers. I want that kind of faith. I want to be that kind of mother some day. As the war goes on, their captain, Helaman, tries everything he can to use them as a strategic tool, like using them as a decoy, so that they don't ever actually have to fight. Unfortunately, it finally comes time for the Stripling Warriors to join the actual battle. They fight, and after the battle is over, Helaman, with heavy heart, asks how many of his "sons" has fallen. None. Not a single boy died. The next battle rolls around. Every single boy is spared. At the time Helaman writes his letter to Moroni, in which he relates this story, all of the Stripling Warriors are still living. This account is so inspiring to me. Sometimes, you may think it's hard to trust in God, but if you keep your promises, God will keep His promises. It takes courage, and sometimes you have to take chances when you don't know all the answers. There are so many things I don't know, and I feel inadequate in so many situations, but I have to just keep moving forward with faith.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Adventure is the Best Way to Procrastinate
Hello, blog world. I am still here! Actually, I just started another blog for my artwork, which can be found here: http://angelaisdoodlinginclass.blogspot.com/ although there's not much on it at the moment, but it's a good start.
Anyway, I had a great day so far today! I met with a lady at Hollywood Studios who works in the Ink and Paint department there for the Animation Gallery store. Once upon a time, there was a feature animation studio here at Hollywood Studios, where guests could see films actually being animated. When I came with my family in 2000, they were animating The Emperor's New Groove, and I remember that being one of the highlights I can remember from that trip. Unfortunately, Disney decided that they wanted all their animators in one spot, and closed the studio here. With the advent of new technology, much of 2D animation is becoming a lost art, and one of the first things to go was Ink and Paint. Back in the day, each frame of animation used to be traced onto celluloid (or animators call them cels for short), which are transparent sheets like the ones your fourth grade teacher used on her overhead projector. This was done using a technique called inking, which requires a very steady hand and a good sense of line. After they were inked, the painter would turn them over and paint on the back side to give the animation color. Now this is just for one subject that's moving. For example, if Mickey Mouse was having a nice little chat with Donald Duck on a windy day next to a palm tree, then Mickey, Donald, and the palm tree would all have their own cel. All the cels in the scene would then be stacked over the painted background and photographed. Remember, all of this is for one frame, and there's 24 frames for every second of animation. The woman I spoke with today told me there were millions of cels used in The Little Mermaid--which is incidentally my favorite Disney movie, and also one she happened to work on in the Ink and Paint department.
These days, all of that is done digitally, and there are only two mills in the entire world that still make celluloid (although now they make them a little less combustible than they used to--apparently people used to die!). So they try to keep this dying art alive in the humble little shop in Hollywood Studios by inking and painting cels, and framing them to sell to guests in Disney World. And, they let me paint a little bit of pirate Mickey! It was so fun!I learned all of that today! Isn't that something? After that, I went over to the Animation drawing class (as usual, I've been there so many times already) and sat through 3 classes learning how to draw Disney characters. I love it!
Then I popped on over to Animal Kingdom, where I found some kangaroos and drew them. Kangaroos are my favorite animal, and are now also my favorite animal to draw. They have the coolest action lines. And they stay still a lot longer than most animals. Not like tigers. You expect the tigers to be all lazy, because when you walk up, they're sleeping. Then all of a sudden they jump up and they pace back and forth, and you can't get a good drawing. One cool thing that happened though, is that one of the tigers suddenly saw all the people gawking at him in the window, and he walked right up to the window, placed one paw on the window and gawked back. I could literally see condensation from his breath on the glass.
On my way back from Animal Kingdom, as the College Program bus was pulling out, I finally saw a wild alligator. It was running away from the bus. Have you ever seen an alligator run? It was pretty comical. Wow, look at my amazing photography skills, especially through a dirty bus window! Ha, just kidding, I found this one on the internet, but this is pretty much what it looked like, except I'm pretty sure its legs were flailing about in its attempt to escape the bus.Anyway, I have to say that I am the master of procrastination, because I did all of this, knowing full well that I have so much work to do for my online classes, since they end this week, and finals are next week. But really, I have an A and a B so far, and for someone who is pretty much living in Disney World right now, I think that's pretty good.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Faith in the Little Things
Florida has a warm climate as most people know. Therefore, there are a lot of bugs here. Since being here, I've been lucky enough to have my first few encounters with cockroaches.
This morning, however, was the worst encounter yet.
There is nothing quite like the sensation of seeing a two-inch long brown cockroach scurry out from underneath your dresser at 5:30 in the morning. My first instinct, of course, was to scream. So, I started to scream, then remembered my roommates were still sleeping and so only a strangled, stifled noise came out of my throat. Also I had just woken up and had no voice. I froze. I didn't know what to do. I have this thing about smashing bugs, and the reasons are twofold: first, that I am almost as terrified of dead bugs as I am of living ones, so seeing a dead cockroach smashed into my carpet wouldn't be much of an improvement over seeing a live one. Second, that when I was a kid I remember smashing ants for fun on the sidewalk, and I remember my Dad teaching me that every living thing is a creation of our Heavenly Father and that for every life you take, you will be accountable. So, as a rule, I don't smash bugs unless they are particularly disgusting, and I definitely never kill spiders, unless it's a black widow. I even try to walk around ants now.
However, a cockroach can carry diseases and is a very unwelcome guest in my apartment. And let's be honest, it is ridiculously disgusting. I turned to look in my closet for a shoe, and when I looked back, it had disappeared. I almost screamed again. I ran into my kitchen and grabbed a potent cleaner. I didn't see it, didn't see it, didn't see it. I put the cleaner down and started looking for my stuff for work. I looked up. There it was again. I turned to grab the cleaner. It disappeared. It looked as if it was slowly moving toward my closet. No way. Not in my shoes! I grabbed a few more things, all the while, keeping an eye on my dresser. I went into the kitchen to drop off my stuff, and when I came back, it was out again. It was moving back toward my door. I ran and grabbed the cleaner. It was gone again. I walked over and turned off my closet light. I walked out of my room and turned around to take one last look inside before I turned off the light. I was trying to decide if it was better to close the door so no more cockroaches would come in, or leave it open so that one would leave. Looking at the bottom of my door now, it wouldn't have really mattered. It could fit underneath, easy. I leaned in to turn off the light, and there it was. I had the cleaner in hand. I stepped forward and doused it. I was too scared to step on it, but I sprayed continuously until it rolled over and stopped moving. Then I sprayed it more and more, quietly yelling, "Die! Die!" Then I stepped on it. Then I sprayed it with hair spray. Then I laid a paper towel over it and stepped on it more and more. There were definitely guts coming out. I grabbed a whole wad of paper towels and scooped up the mess and threw it in the trash.
By the end of the ordeal, I was shaking. I didn't really know why, but I figured it was because I used up so much energy and I hadn't had breakfast yet. But as the day went on, I realized just how traumatized I really was, which sounds silly, but it's true. I started to dread coming home. What if there were more? What if there was a nest under my dresser? I have literally been awake now for 22 1/2 hours straight. I have entered my room cautiously every time, and picked every single article of clothing up off the floor and washed it, whether it was clean or dirty. I washed my bedding. I vacuumed my floor. I sprayed it all down with air freshener.
You know something has really gotten under my skin if I feel the need to pray about it. Never have I said so many prayers about bugs today, that they won't come in my apartment anymore. But I live on the ground floor of a crappy apartment complex in Florida, and last night, one of my roommates left the door open for a while. As one of my friends pointed out today, it's gonna happen.
And I don't know why it gets to me so bad; maybe I'm not over my germophobia like I thought.
But the experience has brought two things to mind. One, obviously, the importance of having a clean room. I had let my room slide for far too long and this is what happens. I never want my room to be messy again.
Two is a little more complicated, and why I'm blogging about it in the first place, so sorry for the long introduction.
As I thought about my prayers asking that there be no more cockroaches in my apartment, I felt a little silly. I thought, well I prayed about it, so the next step is to have faith that Heavenly Father will protect me. But, protect me from cockroaches, really? I mean, honestly, could they really hurt me that bad? And doesn't God have more important things to do than help me with a little pest problem? Wasn't I just blowing it out of proportion? Surely Heavenly Father wouldn't care if I had bugs in my apartment, and serve me right for not cleaning my room, right?
But then, I thought back to a journal entry I made back in August. At the time, there were two people whose personalities I didn't know how to deal with, and I felt as if I had no choice but to be miserable around them because of the way they treated me. And I had tried talking to both of them, but with no success. It was causing me a great deal of stress and anxiety because, obviously, that's what I do when I'm in a situation that I feel is too much for me to handle. But even at the time, it seemed a little silly. Those two people were just being themselves, and I don't think either of them really knew just how much it affected me. I kind of felt as if it was actually my problem and that, again, I was blowing things out of proportion. But that was how I felt, and I couldn't get over the overwhelming anxiety it gave me. As these things were turning in my mind in while driving in my car, I suddenly had the thought to pray about it.
I remember specifically writing down that thought later and the feelings that came with it. I felt as though Heavenly Father were saying to me that even in the little things, He cared. From day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute, my concerns were important to Him because I am one of His daughters. Whether or not my concern sounded silly to other people, or even if it literally was something that shouldn't cause me that much anxiety, even by my own standards, if it mattered to me, it mattered to Him.
Is it going to stop the world that there may be cockroaches in my apartment still? No. But I do know that because I care, God cares. And there may be some here, but because I have faith that I will be protected, they can't hurt me or my roommates, so what is there to fear? And because if I keep the commandments, all things will work together for my good. I know that I've learned important things and reinforced my faith in God, all because that little disgusting creature decided to invade my apartment.
So, now that it is almost 5:00 a.m., I think I'll go to bed, knowing that everything is going to work out, and the exterminator will come tomorrow.
This morning, however, was the worst encounter yet.
There is nothing quite like the sensation of seeing a two-inch long brown cockroach scurry out from underneath your dresser at 5:30 in the morning. My first instinct, of course, was to scream. So, I started to scream, then remembered my roommates were still sleeping and so only a strangled, stifled noise came out of my throat. Also I had just woken up and had no voice. I froze. I didn't know what to do. I have this thing about smashing bugs, and the reasons are twofold: first, that I am almost as terrified of dead bugs as I am of living ones, so seeing a dead cockroach smashed into my carpet wouldn't be much of an improvement over seeing a live one. Second, that when I was a kid I remember smashing ants for fun on the sidewalk, and I remember my Dad teaching me that every living thing is a creation of our Heavenly Father and that for every life you take, you will be accountable. So, as a rule, I don't smash bugs unless they are particularly disgusting, and I definitely never kill spiders, unless it's a black widow. I even try to walk around ants now.
However, a cockroach can carry diseases and is a very unwelcome guest in my apartment. And let's be honest, it is ridiculously disgusting. I turned to look in my closet for a shoe, and when I looked back, it had disappeared. I almost screamed again. I ran into my kitchen and grabbed a potent cleaner. I didn't see it, didn't see it, didn't see it. I put the cleaner down and started looking for my stuff for work. I looked up. There it was again. I turned to grab the cleaner. It disappeared. It looked as if it was slowly moving toward my closet. No way. Not in my shoes! I grabbed a few more things, all the while, keeping an eye on my dresser. I went into the kitchen to drop off my stuff, and when I came back, it was out again. It was moving back toward my door. I ran and grabbed the cleaner. It was gone again. I walked over and turned off my closet light. I walked out of my room and turned around to take one last look inside before I turned off the light. I was trying to decide if it was better to close the door so no more cockroaches would come in, or leave it open so that one would leave. Looking at the bottom of my door now, it wouldn't have really mattered. It could fit underneath, easy. I leaned in to turn off the light, and there it was. I had the cleaner in hand. I stepped forward and doused it. I was too scared to step on it, but I sprayed continuously until it rolled over and stopped moving. Then I sprayed it more and more, quietly yelling, "Die! Die!" Then I stepped on it. Then I sprayed it with hair spray. Then I laid a paper towel over it and stepped on it more and more. There were definitely guts coming out. I grabbed a whole wad of paper towels and scooped up the mess and threw it in the trash.
By the end of the ordeal, I was shaking. I didn't really know why, but I figured it was because I used up so much energy and I hadn't had breakfast yet. But as the day went on, I realized just how traumatized I really was, which sounds silly, but it's true. I started to dread coming home. What if there were more? What if there was a nest under my dresser? I have literally been awake now for 22 1/2 hours straight. I have entered my room cautiously every time, and picked every single article of clothing up off the floor and washed it, whether it was clean or dirty. I washed my bedding. I vacuumed my floor. I sprayed it all down with air freshener.
You know something has really gotten under my skin if I feel the need to pray about it. Never have I said so many prayers about bugs today, that they won't come in my apartment anymore. But I live on the ground floor of a crappy apartment complex in Florida, and last night, one of my roommates left the door open for a while. As one of my friends pointed out today, it's gonna happen.
And I don't know why it gets to me so bad; maybe I'm not over my germophobia like I thought.
But the experience has brought two things to mind. One, obviously, the importance of having a clean room. I had let my room slide for far too long and this is what happens. I never want my room to be messy again.
Two is a little more complicated, and why I'm blogging about it in the first place, so sorry for the long introduction.
As I thought about my prayers asking that there be no more cockroaches in my apartment, I felt a little silly. I thought, well I prayed about it, so the next step is to have faith that Heavenly Father will protect me. But, protect me from cockroaches, really? I mean, honestly, could they really hurt me that bad? And doesn't God have more important things to do than help me with a little pest problem? Wasn't I just blowing it out of proportion? Surely Heavenly Father wouldn't care if I had bugs in my apartment, and serve me right for not cleaning my room, right?
But then, I thought back to a journal entry I made back in August. At the time, there were two people whose personalities I didn't know how to deal with, and I felt as if I had no choice but to be miserable around them because of the way they treated me. And I had tried talking to both of them, but with no success. It was causing me a great deal of stress and anxiety because, obviously, that's what I do when I'm in a situation that I feel is too much for me to handle. But even at the time, it seemed a little silly. Those two people were just being themselves, and I don't think either of them really knew just how much it affected me. I kind of felt as if it was actually my problem and that, again, I was blowing things out of proportion. But that was how I felt, and I couldn't get over the overwhelming anxiety it gave me. As these things were turning in my mind in while driving in my car, I suddenly had the thought to pray about it.
I remember specifically writing down that thought later and the feelings that came with it. I felt as though Heavenly Father were saying to me that even in the little things, He cared. From day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute, my concerns were important to Him because I am one of His daughters. Whether or not my concern sounded silly to other people, or even if it literally was something that shouldn't cause me that much anxiety, even by my own standards, if it mattered to me, it mattered to Him.
Is it going to stop the world that there may be cockroaches in my apartment still? No. But I do know that because I care, God cares. And there may be some here, but because I have faith that I will be protected, they can't hurt me or my roommates, so what is there to fear? And because if I keep the commandments, all things will work together for my good. I know that I've learned important things and reinforced my faith in God, all because that little disgusting creature decided to invade my apartment.
So, now that it is almost 5:00 a.m., I think I'll go to bed, knowing that everything is going to work out, and the exterminator will come tomorrow.
"It is like a grain of mustard seed, which, when it is sown in the earth, is less than all the seeds that be in the earth: But
when it is sown, it groweth up, and becometh greater than all herbs,
and shooteth out great branches; so that the fowls of the air may lodge
under the shadow of it." Mark 4:31-32
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Who Are the Mormons?
And again, I love to talk about it. Being a member of this Church and knowing that I can live with my wonderful family forever brings me more happiness than I can possibly describe.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Animation baby!
So, as some of you may know or have guessed, a big part of the reason why I'm out here in Florida is to make connections with Disney so that I can live my dream of being an animator. After all, John Lasseter started out at Disneyland as a Jungle Cruise skipper. If you don't know who that is, we can't be friends. I'm just kidding. Actually, I'm going to eventually do a couple of blogs about my Disney heroes, which include John Lasseter, Glen Keane, and of course, Walt Disney himself.
I am definitely missing doing actual animation. I downloaded Maya to my computer, and as I've watched tutorials on Youtube, the videos have basically said that it's really difficult to learn Maya by yourself. Awesome. I'm powering through, though. I'll have myself a bouncing ball in no time. Gotta start small. And work it in between work, my online classes, and going to the parks with my roommates.
But for inspiration, I like to look back at my final project for my intro to animation class. Because I still love Cecilia, and I'm still drawing her in my sketchbook. Also, if I post it here, it's easier for me to find than on my facebook.
Oh man, I love animation.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
A Different Kind of Castle
Happy Valentine's Day.
I've hated Valentine's Day for a long time.
If I was honest with myself, the reason is that the thing I've always wanted most in life is to be in love. Even when I was a little girl, I just wanted to be in love. I think that's why Heavenly Father has made me wait so long to find the man I'm going to marry because it's the real test of my faith. It's not hard to keep my standards around other people, it's not hard to pay my tithing, or read my scriptures or anything else. It is hard to keep believing that I'll fall in love with someone who will want to marry me and be with me for eternity. And the longer it takes, the harder it is.
I auditioned to be a face character here at Disney World yesterday. Don't worry, this ties together. I didn't even make it past the first cut. They took us in a room, looked at our faces, and kept two out of fifty girls in our group.
Like, maybe my face isn't just right. But I know I am beautiful and I know that I could really be great as a character. I love kids, and I just really want to be the person at Disney World that makes their whole day. I hate that my face isn't right for it. In a way, it seems unfair to me. Why not just give me the chance, Disney?
I've been thinking about how much ESPN Wide World of Sports is so not my thing, and why did it work out this way? Why couldn't I have auditioned yesterday, and I get a happy ending? Why doesn't anything I do work out that way? Not only am I not a princess, but I also never get the date with the guy I like and I never get the part I want in a play, and it took forEVER to get promoted at Taylor Maid. I've tried to live with these kinds of things and I just get tired of feeling like I'm constantly being kicked down. It makes me afraid to hope anymore.
Today I got deployed from my usual location to a discount Disney resort. I wiped down tables for six hours straight. That's all I did. And the first manager treated me like dirt. He wouldn't even smile at me. Hello, you work at Disney! Be happy for goodness sake! Although the manager I had for the last hour was really awesome and thanked me just for coming to work. Anyway, I went to Magic Kingdom afterward to drop off my costume and had a little time to kill, so my roommate and I walked around Magic Kingdom for a little while.
One of the things that attracted me to Disney is the happy atmosphere. Since getting here, I've learned that not everyone is quite so happy. But I have already had so many good times, and when I have time to feel the Disney Magic, it feels really good.
I had to hurry home today though, because I was going to the Orlando, Florida temple.
At first, I was still pretty stressed about everything, and that's all I could think about.
But as I spent more time inside, I could feel the warmth and the familiarity of the Gospel wash over me.
It was a different kind of happy than how I've ever felt at Disney. I believe that everything good comes from God. That includes Walt Disney's dream of creating a place where families can be happy and enjoy a good time together. But there's a difference between just plain good things and the light of the Gospel.
I think it's like having a crush versus being in love. When you have a crush on someone, you're giddy. It's exciting and it's new, and there's so much to experience.
But when you're in love, as I've observed from people I know who are in love, it's something so much deeper than that. It's the kind of thing that echoes through your soul. It's something that truly lasts.
That's the Gospel. It's so deep and pure. The feeling is indescribable.
And knowing just how much God loves me makes none of that other stuff matter. It doesn't matter that I'm not a princess at Disney World. It doesn't matter that some boy never asked me out. My Heavenly Father is aware of me and how I feel, and He knows what's going to make me the best person I can be. All I have to do is be patient and I'll see what He has in store, and it'll be better than I ever dreamed.
It's really awesome that I get to live by Cinderella's castle until the end of the summer. It's really exciting. But my favorite place to be is a little different kind of castle.
I've hated Valentine's Day for a long time.
If I was honest with myself, the reason is that the thing I've always wanted most in life is to be in love. Even when I was a little girl, I just wanted to be in love. I think that's why Heavenly Father has made me wait so long to find the man I'm going to marry because it's the real test of my faith. It's not hard to keep my standards around other people, it's not hard to pay my tithing, or read my scriptures or anything else. It is hard to keep believing that I'll fall in love with someone who will want to marry me and be with me for eternity. And the longer it takes, the harder it is.
I auditioned to be a face character here at Disney World yesterday. Don't worry, this ties together. I didn't even make it past the first cut. They took us in a room, looked at our faces, and kept two out of fifty girls in our group.
Like, maybe my face isn't just right. But I know I am beautiful and I know that I could really be great as a character. I love kids, and I just really want to be the person at Disney World that makes their whole day. I hate that my face isn't right for it. In a way, it seems unfair to me. Why not just give me the chance, Disney?
I've been thinking about how much ESPN Wide World of Sports is so not my thing, and why did it work out this way? Why couldn't I have auditioned yesterday, and I get a happy ending? Why doesn't anything I do work out that way? Not only am I not a princess, but I also never get the date with the guy I like and I never get the part I want in a play, and it took forEVER to get promoted at Taylor Maid. I've tried to live with these kinds of things and I just get tired of feeling like I'm constantly being kicked down. It makes me afraid to hope anymore.
Today I got deployed from my usual location to a discount Disney resort. I wiped down tables for six hours straight. That's all I did. And the first manager treated me like dirt. He wouldn't even smile at me. Hello, you work at Disney! Be happy for goodness sake! Although the manager I had for the last hour was really awesome and thanked me just for coming to work. Anyway, I went to Magic Kingdom afterward to drop off my costume and had a little time to kill, so my roommate and I walked around Magic Kingdom for a little while.
I had to hurry home today though, because I was going to the Orlando, Florida temple.
At first, I was still pretty stressed about everything, and that's all I could think about.
But as I spent more time inside, I could feel the warmth and the familiarity of the Gospel wash over me.
It was a different kind of happy than how I've ever felt at Disney. I believe that everything good comes from God. That includes Walt Disney's dream of creating a place where families can be happy and enjoy a good time together. But there's a difference between just plain good things and the light of the Gospel.
I think it's like having a crush versus being in love. When you have a crush on someone, you're giddy. It's exciting and it's new, and there's so much to experience.
But when you're in love, as I've observed from people I know who are in love, it's something so much deeper than that. It's the kind of thing that echoes through your soul. It's something that truly lasts.
That's the Gospel. It's so deep and pure. The feeling is indescribable.
And knowing just how much God loves me makes none of that other stuff matter. It doesn't matter that I'm not a princess at Disney World. It doesn't matter that some boy never asked me out. My Heavenly Father is aware of me and how I feel, and He knows what's going to make me the best person I can be. All I have to do is be patient and I'll see what He has in store, and it'll be better than I ever dreamed.Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Even the stars burn, some even fall to the earth
I'm a total Disney nerd. I cry in just about every animated Disney movie ever made. I heard the song for the opening credits of Oliver and Company, and I thought of those sweet little kitties on the streets of New York in the rain, and I started crying while I was waiting for my training to begin.
So even though I loved my job, my friends, my ward, my major, my apartment, and that super amazing choir I've been lucky enough to be a part of, I decided to give it all up to come here.
It was a scary decision, and for a while, I doubted the true value of coming here. True, it will look stellar on my resume, but considering the fact that my greatest dream is to be a wife and a mother, I didn't know if it was worth the sacrifice. As long as I'm not married, I've tried to prepare myself for a career. But as I've worked different jobs and thought about different paths, I've always known that I can't live my life doing something that I'm not passionate about. That's why I became so happy when I re-discovered my childhood dream of being an animator. I was so busy last semester, but I can honestly say that it's the happiest I've been since my freshman year at Snow College.
As I came here, I became so excited about the prospect of really believing in Walt Disney's dream for Disney World. He wanted there to be a place where families could be together and have fun together. What a wonderful dream. All I could think about was, "Now when do I get to help make some magic?"
I didn't know anything about my assignment to ESPN's Wide World of Sports. I'd never been there, and it didn't sound particularly interesting to me. I have no interest in sports. I even hate sports movies. But I decided to at least see what it was like out there.
First of all, my first day there was a Sunday, so I was already an emotional wreck, not only because it was the first time in my whole life that I've ever worked on a Sunday, but also because I had to miss church for it as well. I listened to my LDC CD from last year onto my MP3 player, and pretty much cried the entire hour-long bus ride there.
At first, it didn't seem so bad, but as the day progressed, I got more and more upset. This wasn't what I planned. There were no excited little girls in their princess dresses, no moms stopping everyone every five feet for a photo, no kids toting their Buzz Lightyear toys. Our trainer for the day showed us around and told us stories about famous sports heroes who had visited and how the baseball stadium was set up exactly like the Atlanta Braves stadium. He told us about the College Program participant who got chosen to be a bat boy for the Braves and how that made his dream come true. I was like, really? That has got to be the dullest thing I've ever heard. Who cares? It's a bunch of grown men who throw around some stupid ball.
Why didn't I get assigned to one of the parks? I felt like the assignment was random, and for some reason, I drew the short stick. My major is animation, shouldn't I be working at Magic Kingdom? Couldn't I go there and make someone's day? I came to make magic!
I was determined to get a transfer. I went to the office the next day to ask for one.
They don't transfer College Program participants. Your role is your role is your role is your role or you can go home. That's it.
I was heartbroken. I just wanted to come home and forget all of this ever happened. How could they assign me to the one place on the entire property that is the least suited to my personality? I told the man in the office that I wanted to go home, but that I was going to call my parents first, and think about it for a while.
While I was on the phone, the feeling just came to me. I knew I had to stay here. For whatever reason, this is where God wants me. How can I argue with that?
I started thinking about what my mom said about how the unexpected things in life are often the sweetest blessings. And I find in my life that's true. The things I never dreamed of happening are those things I hold dearest to my heart. I'm going to use my friend Landon as an example, since he's on a mission and probably won't ever read this. When he wanted to be my friend, I just wanted him to get away from me. I thought he had to be the weirdest person I ever met. But he was insistent that he wanted to be my friend. As I let myself open up to him, I found a whole other side of myself. And I gained a friend that I will never forget.
So, I don't know why I'm here, and I don't know why I've gotten this assignment, but I know that Heavenly Father knows I'm here. He knows the deepest, dearest wishes of my heart, and He wants me to be happy. And only He knows exactly how I will be the most happy. All I have to do is trust in Him, and all of my dreams will come true, even if they become different dreams in the end.
"Some wishes come true in the most unexpected ways." --Jiminy Cricket
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Casting!
Oh my goodness it is so stinkin' late here in Florida. Okay, it's like 11:30. I'm kind of a baby.
Anyway, I just barely finished my online Defensive Driving course for the speeding ticket I got while I was still in Utah. Don't worry, two of my roommates went to DisneyWorld while I sat here reading this stupid thing. It's ok, I can't get into DisneyWorld yet anyway. But still. They were in DisneyWorld, I was reading about how you can get decapitated by running into the back of a semi truck. Awesome.
Well, today was the big day to find out where I'll be working and to fill out all of my paperwork. So everyone got shuttled to this building:
And apparently the Atlanta Braves do their Spring Training here. Whatever that means. Apparently they're like a Major League Baseball team or something.
So, I know nothing about sports, but I'm excited, and I can't wait to actually get to work!
Anyway, I just barely finished my online Defensive Driving course for the speeding ticket I got while I was still in Utah. Don't worry, two of my roommates went to DisneyWorld while I sat here reading this stupid thing. It's ok, I can't get into DisneyWorld yet anyway. But still. They were in DisneyWorld, I was reading about how you can get decapitated by running into the back of a semi truck. Awesome.
Well, today was the big day to find out where I'll be working and to fill out all of my paperwork. So everyone got shuttled to this building:
With these doorknobs:
I bet you didn't get to use a doorknob with a face when you filled out your paperwork for your job.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand....The long awaited moment, my job in DisneyWorld until August 10 will be:
Concessions at the Wide World of Sports
Who knew Disney had that, right? I didn't. I thought I'd be working in one of the main theme parks. But you know, I know absolutely nothing about this job at all, so who knows? It may be the best job ever. Plus, I'm still working for Disney, so it's going to be awesome no matter.
So, I know nothing about sports, but I'm excited, and I can't wait to actually get to work!
Monday, January 30, 2012
Baby You Are The Weapon I Choose
Well, it's been an interesting day, that's for sure.
I'm sitting here in my halfway unpacked room, typing this blog post in a word processor because I don't really have internet. I think whoever's internet I was using got wise and put a password on it. Dang. So, we'll see when this actually gets posted.
First off, I just have to say that I hate flying. It's the worst, most uncomfortable way to travel. First, I was in a super-cramped little plane from Durango to Denver. Then, from Denver to Orlando, I had an aisle seat, and the lady next to me kept getting up, and there wasn't enough room for her to squeeze between me and the seat, so I had to keep getting up. That actually wasn't a big deal. I just want to complain about airplanes because they suck.
Okay, I'm grateful for the technology we have to fly through the air and cut travel time down. It really only took me 4 hours to fly from Durango to Orlando total. I talked to a guy who took a bus from Texas and it took him 23 hours. So I'm just being a crybaby. I just wish that it was more comfortable and you could take as much stuff as you want without being charged through the nose. That's all.
Once I got to Orlando, I was expecting that wall of humidity you usually hit. While I could feel humidity immediately, it wasn't that intense because it's cold for Florida. It was 69 degrees when we landed. So cold, right?
So actually I was sweating buckets, because in an attempt to get more things on the plane, I was wearing several layers of clothing.
I collected my things, freshened up, and then asked how to get on my shuttle to my apartment. The guy standing by the shuttle information told me where to go, and then suddenly the woman standing next to him says, “Hey, you look familiar!”
I was like, “Umm...really?” Truth is, I get that a lot. I just have one of those faces, I guess.
“Wait, maybe you look like somebody!”
Then the guy looks at me. And he says, “Hey, do you know who Miley Cyrus is?”
Yuck-o. They both agreed. I looked like her as Hannah Montana. Don't worry, I have dark brown hair.
The best part is that another lady overheard and comes over with her phone up and says, “Can I get a picture of you? My daughter just loves Hannah Montana.”
So, I let her take a picture of me. What do you do in that situation?
They were like, “But really, are you someone famous?”
I said, “If I was, do you think I'd be bringing my own bags?”
Then I pulled my two suitcases toward the elevator, and the man says, “Hey, let me get the elevator for you!”
When he came over, he says, “Sorry I got you in trouble with those ladies. You're not really a famous person, are you?”
Nope.
Then, when I finally got outside, I was a little confused about what I was supposed to do. I just went and stood in line behind other people who were getting on a shuttle. A very unhappy lady came up to me and was like, “No no no! You have to check in. And you wouldn't be taking that shuttle anyway.”
She brought me over to a desk and said to the man sitting there, “Here's a Vista Way passenger.”
I was like, “Hey, how did you know I was going there?”
The man smiled at me. “You've got a lot of bags.”
The shuttle driver was really nice, and the lady that checked me into my apartment was really funny. Unfortunately, I don't have any roommates yet.
Since then, I've been to Wal-mart and spent more money there than I ever have. But I don't even feel a little bit guilty because I needed every single thing I bought.
Of course, I'm used to having my car when I go grocery shopping, and instead I rode the bus. Let me explain what the demographic is like in the Disney College Program. I am a minority. I am white and English is the only language I speak. Also I'm Mormon, but besides asking the check-in lady if she knew where I could find out about church, that hasn't really come up.
So, when I got my groceries, of course, I got way too much stuff to carry, so it was as she was shaking her head that my new friend, Alexia from Kenya helped me on and off the bus. Then, as I tried to take it to my apartment, a really nice guy named Oziel (spelling?) helped me. He was born in Texas but grew up in Mexico, so he has an accent.
I am the most boring person in the program!
But at least I look like I'm famous.
Poor Oziel, though. It took me forever to find my building. Because I'm in Building 40. There are over 40 buildings in this complex.
Well, I've gotta figure out something for the internet. Especially so I can finish my homework for my online class. But, if you read this entire post, congratulations. You've just experienced a day in the life of me. Wasn't it great?
Anyway, I think I'm gonna like it here. This is how I feel after today.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Flight: Booked
So, my one-way ticket to Orlando, Florida is booked. You might say it's the final nail on the coffin.
First of all, welcome to my new blog. I'm going to record all my adventures here for your reading pleasure. Enjoy.
I am so freaked out. I am moving all the way to the other side of the country--where there will be not one single person I know, and I will be there until August. I'm not a huge risk-taker, and this is a huge risk, at least for me.
There was one other time that I took a huge leap of faith. That was when I moved to Snow College. I mean, it seemed right, most people move away after they graduate and go to school. But I remember the summer before my senior year, thinking to myself, "I can never go to college...I won't make any friends." I'm not saying this for pity or anything, it was a legitimate concern. I've never had a ton of friends, or at least I may have had friends, but I didn't feel particularly close to very many people. And there have been times in my life when I haven't felt close to anyone at all.
I remember that summer before my senior year of high school, we had a pioneer trek. For those of you who don't know, back in the 1800's, members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, more commonly known as Mormons, were persecuted, and finally, after the martyrdom of Joseph Smith, made an exodus west, settling in what is now Salt Lake City, Utah. Every few years or so, some members of the church ages 14-18 re-enact the trek, dressing in clothes from the 1800's, and pulling real handcarts. Of course, we made a shorter journey. We were only allowed a 5-gallon bucket for all the belongings we'd need for 4 days. We were put in family groups--around 10 teenagers with an adult couple to be the parents. The leaders in charge of the trek specifically tried to make it so that no one would know anyone in their family when they started.
It was a wonderful experience, and really difficult. There were a lot of things I learned. In relevance to this post, I learned to love my surrogate family, and learned that they loved me too. It was amazing to me that I was able to make friends that quickly.
My attitude about going to college began to change.
Anyone who knows me at all knows how much I loved Snow College and how much I still care about the friends I made there.
I don't feel like I've taken many risks since then. It was easy to move to Provo, when I knew so many people there already, including my brother and his new wife. It was a small risk to try out for the Latter Day Celebration Choir at the Orem Institute of Religion--and for the amazing experience I've had there, auditioning was a very small risk in comparison with the blessings.
So here's to a new year, a new place, and most of all a new risk! Watch out DisneyWorld, here I come!
First of all, welcome to my new blog. I'm going to record all my adventures here for your reading pleasure. Enjoy.
I am so freaked out. I am moving all the way to the other side of the country--where there will be not one single person I know, and I will be there until August. I'm not a huge risk-taker, and this is a huge risk, at least for me.
There was one other time that I took a huge leap of faith. That was when I moved to Snow College. I mean, it seemed right, most people move away after they graduate and go to school. But I remember the summer before my senior year, thinking to myself, "I can never go to college...I won't make any friends." I'm not saying this for pity or anything, it was a legitimate concern. I've never had a ton of friends, or at least I may have had friends, but I didn't feel particularly close to very many people. And there have been times in my life when I haven't felt close to anyone at all.
I remember that summer before my senior year of high school, we had a pioneer trek. For those of you who don't know, back in the 1800's, members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, more commonly known as Mormons, were persecuted, and finally, after the martyrdom of Joseph Smith, made an exodus west, settling in what is now Salt Lake City, Utah. Every few years or so, some members of the church ages 14-18 re-enact the trek, dressing in clothes from the 1800's, and pulling real handcarts. Of course, we made a shorter journey. We were only allowed a 5-gallon bucket for all the belongings we'd need for 4 days. We were put in family groups--around 10 teenagers with an adult couple to be the parents. The leaders in charge of the trek specifically tried to make it so that no one would know anyone in their family when they started.
It was a wonderful experience, and really difficult. There were a lot of things I learned. In relevance to this post, I learned to love my surrogate family, and learned that they loved me too. It was amazing to me that I was able to make friends that quickly.
My attitude about going to college began to change.
Anyone who knows me at all knows how much I loved Snow College and how much I still care about the friends I made there.
I don't feel like I've taken many risks since then. It was easy to move to Provo, when I knew so many people there already, including my brother and his new wife. It was a small risk to try out for the Latter Day Celebration Choir at the Orem Institute of Religion--and for the amazing experience I've had there, auditioning was a very small risk in comparison with the blessings.
So here's to a new year, a new place, and most of all a new risk! Watch out DisneyWorld, here I come!
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